8.30 PM. Mahabalipuram Beach. A gang of young techies dancing to some vibrant English or Tamil song. Everyone is having a glass of beer and is literally in full spirits (courtesy the Client).
There was a young man...far away from the madding crowd...standing on the shores of the beach...looking at the ceaseless sea and their waves...and searching for something. Its ME.
Me. The very embodiment of exuberance, the synonym of energy, the equivalent of extrovert and gregariousness in my college days. And now....Me...calm..quiet...moody...and alone.
Those who know me personally and reading this would never ever believe that this is Me. Seriousness was the last thing that you could relate to my personality. Everywhere i went i made friends and people loved me for that.
Now...i fear meeting people....
Being a normal mortal has its effects. U react to the species around you and their actions and your senses sometimes behave senseless. Just try watching a hapless single looking at a pair of lovers and you will realize what i am talking about. The pain, the craving (no i m not talking about the physical one),the exaggeration are evident and it just haunts you if you are a loner.
In my case it is not the inability to find someone.....but the inability to have someone i like. Confused? Let me solve it out. Every time I saw some pair roaming around i always dreamt as "Mera number bhi aayega". Every weekend i roamed around with the thought that somewhere walking around would be my Ms.Right and that would be the end of the search.
But life is not like the candy floss movies that we see and dream from. A girl turns back when SRK says "Palat Palat" but she would not even give u a look even u were to shout it on a loudspeaker and yell around. Reality Bites.
There are instances when we feel that someone we are in touch with is the Ms./Mr. Right and we feel for them. Their joy and sorrow becomes ours and anytime u r lonely the first thing that creeps in your mind is...What is he/she doing? Thinking about me?
The greatest fear that every love story faces is...the fear of rejection. What if she says NO? Half of the love stories in the world are the ones which start in the eyes, travel in the heart but never make it to the lips. Just 3 little words...8 letters...but they weigh like several tonnes of weight hanging around the body, soul and mind and make any sane person go mad with rage.
Alas...Love has become a time pass for many..and so it comes cheap in the market of hearts. People LOVE for few months..maybe days..go to Park, beach, cinema and few places..enjoy each others company and BOOM...its Bye Bye. Sincere love is something that is rare and infact ridiculed if ur friends are to come about its very existence in your heart.
The logic that defies my understanding is that girls agree instantly to marry good guys once their parents find a match for them. But if the same guy were to propose to her and tell her that he wants to be with her for the rest of their life...they reject it flatly. Why the double standards for love and marriage?
I know the question in ur mind. Is this guy in love?