Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
And when photoshopped....it can be colorful as well.
Check my flickr account for more :)
P.S: Thanks to Prithz for the smokin idea and photoshopping it as well.
You deserve a great treat.
One amazingly soothing song.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
A: Namaste Bolo. Dont say Hello. It is english and you should learn to respect your language.
Q: (intimidated)Sssssorry Sir. Sir, how did you decide to enter politics?
A: That was simple. My uncle Mr. Gol Jockeray has been heading a party and doing 'social service' to Megarashtra for 30 odd years. When the junta can be so stupid to put up with him for so long, I clearly fancied my chances. And also...this is the only country in the world where you can talk anything and get away with it (winks).
Q: Wow. Thats quite an eye opener. What is your agenda sir?
A: Well. As of now my personal wealth is 30-40 crores. I would like to have something around 3-4000 crores by the time I retire. I think it is possible. Isnt it?
A: And yeah. I want to have some roads named after me. Possibly a cricket stadium, a statue and so on. I am not greedy you see. Maybe I will buy a Bentley and a Ferrari. Buy some palatial house for my wife. And then....
Q: (interupting) Sir. I asked the agenda of your party.
A: (disinterested) Oh that? Thats the same shit that everyone says. Arey Pandu! What did you write as our agenda in that meeting speech?
Pandu: Upliftment of poor. Restoring our cultural pride. (thinks for some time) Bhool gaya saab.
A: Dont worry. The stupids who voted for us dont remember it either (he and his goons laugh at his joke). I think that superstar Suranjeevi also said something as such. Isnt it?
Q: (mumbles) All you morons have been saying the same shit since independence. And we stupids believe it.
Q: I said that is so original and path breaking. No one ever thought on those lines.
A: Thanks. Thats why I made Pandu jump from my uncle's party to mine. Heck, cost me 2 C.
Q: Why should it cost you 'to see'? Is he like Madonna or Britney?
A: Idiot. I meant 2 crores. What kind of a reporter are you that does not even know 2 C? Every citizen in our country knows this.
Q: Pardon my ignorance Sir. Do you really mean what you say in your agenda?
A: You mean this upliftment of poor and all that crap? You think that every politician in our country or this world for that matter means it from their heart?
Q: (thinks) Not really.
A: Exactly. Either way you know that I will say 'YES'. Atleast I know that I am not in 'The Moment of Truth' and no one will ever realize whether I am lying or not.(laughs at his own joke)
Q: Good for you.Why did your release angry statement against Bollywood Superstar Bhumitabh Achchan?
A: Oh that. Well, a week ago I saw his film 'Slack' and I think he hammed too much. Wanted to retort in some way. All he had to do was open his mouth and speak. We twisted it. So simple.
Q: Oh. Your party men cleared his posters and also took out procession against him. Why?
A: Cmon. How long do you think I can be feeding them vada paav and Chicken Teriyaaki in my backyard. Those morons have to do some work for that to be digested. This was just some excercise for them.
Q: Why do you want Juhari's and JP state's members out from your state?
A: Because they wont vote for me.
A: (realizing he had said too much) I mean they dont vote in elections. And also they get promotions at work places that our state people. How can we tolerate that?
Q: You mean, a person whould get promoted if he is born here?
A: And if he votes for me (winks).
Q: So original. Why has your party targeted Gayrukh Khan now?
A: What to do? Its your fault.
A: Yeah. The media. We have to stay in news. The best way is to be a film star or cricketer. Next best way, is to launch attacks against them for any reason. And we are on all channels 24*7. Simple and effective.
Q: What is your next plan?
A: To take myself to the public.
Q: You are going to become pimp?
A: No re. I am planning to release a statement that all Bollywood producers should produce atleast one movie starring me. Either way my party men will 'take care' to make sure it runs for 100 days. So people will know me and I will become popular.
Q: And next?
A: I will threaten centre to release us and make us a separate country. That’s the only way I can realize my dream of becoming a PM. (looks above the ceiling
Reporter runs as fast as he could to escape the thought of the 'dream'.
Every discussion on a stupid politician ultimately culminates to this guy. Watch his amazing 'Top 10 Moments'.
Friday, September 05, 2008
Zaheer: "And that is how the tortoise beat the hare in a race. Now, tell me Abraham, what do you learn from this?"
Abraham: "That you should not sleep during the race. Either way once you win the race, they give you enough money to buy an AC and a house."
Zaheer: "Where do you people learn this stuff?"
Abraham: "What did you derive from the story Zaheer uncle when you were a kid?"
Z: When I was 7 years old as you are now? I dozed off halfway as teacher was explaining it. Atleast you are focused.
A: And what is your age now?
Z: Well, you have to add 22 years more to yours. That makes it?
A: (thinks for a while) 29. Correct?
Z: Wow. Terrific. You must be first rank in your class?
A: In LKG and UKG, I got first rank 2 times.
Z: 2 times. WOWWWWWWW. In 1st standard?
A: In my class 1st standard F section, I got first rank in half-yearly and annual exam. Now I am in Second standard, E section.
Z: You are so brilliant. Did mummy daddy always ask you to keep studying?
A: Dad was cool about it. He always told me that I was very brilliant. My mom used to pester me a lot.
Z: Let me guess. She didnt allow you to play cricket. Correct?
A: Not just cricket. No gilli danda,no lukka chuppi, no video games.
Z: Oh. Do you hate her for that?
A: No. I love her. She makes me such delicious food every day. Where are mummy- daddy now?
Z: They will come soon. So, who was your best friend in school?
A: RajKumar. He lived 2 streets away. His uncle used to come to our house. He used to buy me chocolates.
Z: Oh wow. What chocolate do you like?
A: Milky Bar. My mom used to give me one every time I finished my homework.
Z: Ok. Lets have a deal. If you finish your dinner without further questions and asking stories, I will get you a milky bar.
A: I will wait for my parents and eat with them.
Z: They will come. You finish your dinner. Otherwise they will scold poor Zaheer uncle that he did not feed their cute son. Will they or wont?
A: (thinks for a while) My parents don’t scold. They are very friendly. We have so many friends in our neighborhood.
Z: Still, they might scold you. So you be a good boy and finish the dinner. Zaheer uncle will go and get you your Milky Bar. Done deal?
A: Done deal. Thanks
Zaheer rushed to the nearest departmental store outside the hospital and got 2 Milky Bar packets. He walked back to the reception and gave a quizzing look at the receptionist Ms. Latha.
Latha: "Sorry Dr.Zaheer. We still don’t have any information regarding his relatives."
Zaheer: "Come on Latha. There must be someone. Some uncle, aunty, cousin...someone."
Latha: "Most of them lived in the same neighborhood when the incident happened. So the chances are...practically slim."
Zaheer: "Damn it. Did the police arrest anyone?"
Latha looked at him with a look which meant "Don’t-you-know-it-wont-happen".
Zaheer: "Wow. Hail democracy. Some mad men decide to kill people, burn their houses, ransack their life and they walk freely. How can someone be so cruel to burn an orphanage? Have people in this country pawned their hearts?"
Latha: "Cool down Doctor."
Zaheer: "Cool Down? You want me to cool down? Go and try telling that innocent kid, that his parents have been murdered by the very people who lived next Street to him. Go try telling him that his world was darkened and will remain so when he was sleeping on that fateful night. If not for the neighboring injured Gurkha who found him asleep, he might have been dead as well."
Latha: "Did you tell him about his parents?"
Zaheer: "I find it hard to tell demise news to elders. He is a kid for god’s sake. I...don’t know how to tell him. Everytime I look deep into his innocent brown eyes, I feel like breaking down. Don’t know how long I can keep him distracted with Milky bars."
Latha remained silent.
Zaheer: “Childhood is all about hope in life. This news will bring his world crashing down and he will lose hope in entire mankind. All that will remain would be pieces. His, mine and all ours.”
Zaheer walked back to the room where Abraham was finishing his dinner.
Zaheer: "Hey little champ. Here is my part of bargain. Milky baaaaaaaaar."
Abraham: "Thanks Zaheer Uncle. Uncle, can you tell me something."
Zaheer: "Try me."
Abraham: "When I woke up yesterday, there was blood on my hands. Can you tell me why?"
Zaheer: "Unfortunately we all have in ours as well Abraham. It’s just that you see it and we don’t."
It would take some years for Abraham to understand what Dr. Zaheer really meant.
It would take some years for Abraham to understand what Dr. Zaheer really meant.
P.S: Partially inspired from this article
Donno how many of you remember this video posted below. Some of you might have seen it as kids in Doordarshan. Guess we need such Jingoism as Americans do :)