Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The WishMaster

Every other job on earth is boring. Well, at least it does appear boring to the person who does it, although for a rank outsider it may appear as prestigious or enviable. It is human mentality and I guess almost 70% of the population on earth does fall into this category. I have no qualms in admitting that I belong to the elite 70%.

"Sir, the shot is ready. We can go for take." The assistant director's assistant is still in awe of me and I can clearly see it on his face. He looks like some college drop-out or one of those "you-are-handsome-to-be-on-silver-screen" keyed youngster who may have run away from home and must have found that the silver screen is just silver on front and dirty on the posterior.

Anyway I am not here to advise him as I myself fought with my dad and it took me good old 15 years to make a mark. Today I am paid a bloody hefty sum to play any role from comedian to character to villain and I am proud to say that I am versatile. That is the only thing that has stuck me in this big bad industry. My popularity was the only reason they offered me to host this program where I get to roam so many places and meet so many new people.

If you are wondering why the hell the starting paragraph and next one differ, then hang on. I am coming to it. Agreed that the program did appear new in the initial days, but it seemed boring when I kept on doing the same thing over and over. Today I am in some city in Andhra and I hope that at least this episode turns out to be good.

"Sir, ready? Take 1. Camera. Rolling. And Action"

That is the sign that I have to come to life. Here I come alive oh my dear TV viewers.

"Hello Everyone. Welcome to another episode of your favorite program 'WishMaster'. As usual today I am your host and we will meet some people and make their dreams come true. So let's see whom we meet today."

Usually I don't meet the participants before hand. It spoils the surprise and more over the chemistry wears down as I get to know them before hand. It is my style to meet them fresh along with my viewers and it is the only part that is fun.

"So hi there. What is your name young lady?"
"Hi. I am Shanti."
"Hello Shanti. You know what Shanti means?"
"So you never fight?"
"You want the truth?"
"You want to tell it?"
"Ok. I usually dont."
"And what do you do unusually?"
"I walk away from the person who makes me angry and cry alone."
"Don't you want to yell and shred the person to pieces?"
"What is the point? The damage is done. So I dont do it."
"And you decide to take it on yourself?"
"I can handle it. So I just cry for a while and come to terms with it."
"And you forgive them?"
"Depends. If they do realize and apologize I do forgive."
"Wow. You are quite a character Shanti."
"Thank you Sir."

"So you watch my movies?"
"I don't see many hindi movies Sir. But I have seen some of yours. Your last movie made me laugh a lot. You are very talented Sir."
"Oh. That's quite a compliment. Thanks. So who is your favorite actor Shanti?"
"Oh Chiru? What do you like about him?"
"I like the way he dances. he is effortless. His action, comedy (pause) everything Sir."
"Wow. We have a die hard Chiru fan here. That's great."
"I don't miss his movies."

"Wow. So Shanti. Coming to the program, you know the way it works right?"
"Yes Sir. You select a person randomly. Ask them their wish. Then you have a small competition and then grant that wish."
"Good. Glad you completed my part of job for which my producer pays me (laugh)"
"Anytime Sir."
"So Shanti. Tell me, what is your wish?"
"You can fulfill it Sir?"
"We try. There was a case when a person wanted to dip in a pool full of money. Then once a weirdo asked for a wish to act in a scene with ShahRukh. If possible we do do it."
"(thinks) I donno Sir."
"Come on Shanti. There is must be something."
"I had thought of something. Donno if its possible."
"You want to act with Chiru in one scene?"
"(pause) Is it possible?"
"We can try. Are you ok with it?"
"(pause) Can I have one more wish granted?"
"Ok. Tell me Shanti"

She paused. At that instant her eyes dramatically turned moist. There was a pain in her eyes which could never be achieved by any glycerin on earth. She spoke her next words in almost a whisper.

"I don't want to die. I want to live for some more time."

She cried and hugged me. For the first time on the show I was speechless. Shanti, an inmate of home for HIV positive patients, was counting her days and today her outburst came alive.

The camera kept rolling as no one had the heart to say Cut.

For once I wished I was God.

P.S: Inspired from an old episode of Aerial Mr.Gold which I remembered for no reason.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Happy New Year


With the clock racing to 11.50 PM, RJ waited patiently for the most important thing he had been looking forward to since morning. He asked RJB4 to buy some Sky Lighters which would burst with the words HAPPY NEW YEAR on the sky. He knew that it would work.

It had to.

Read more at Happy New Year

P.S: Check my review of Taare Zameen Par here.