Thursday, March 27, 2008

Made for each other

The smell of the bhaaji was intoxicating enough to raise the dead back to life. She had read the recipe so well that she could by heart it. She was always proud of her memory and culinary skills, but today she was going to surprise him by making the BEST paav bhaaji ever made in their 2 year old married life.

She cut the onions into as many small pieces as possible and garnished them over the bhaaji. She squeezed lemon over the bhaaji and mixed it. She made sure that the masala would not spoil her orange color salwaar. It looked so tasty that she wanted to eat it inspite of her natural hatred for paav bhaaji. Paav bhaaji was his favorite item and he ordered it every time they went to some North Indian restaurant. Although she had never liked it, today she had prepared it for him.

Especially today.

She sliced the paav, and toasted them. She put them in the hot pack and placed it on the dining table. She cleaned it thoroughly and removed every speck of dust and garbage. She stood outside the kitchen and looked at it proudly as Leonardo Da Vinci would have had looked at his Mona Lisa. He always ridiculed her that she had an obsessive compulsive disorder and she too feared the same at times. But then, she reasoned that it was unfair to label someone obsessive compulsive because she wanted things neat and in order.

She switched on the TV and looked at the Grandpa Clock in the hall. The clock chimed loudly 6 times and proved its worth for Rs. 15000. He should be home any time now. She surfed through the channels impatiently and settled on Zoom TV. Some actress was wearing kerchief sized clothes and seducing the hero. If they show this stuff on prime time, wonder what they show at late night she thought.

The sound of his bike horn brought her back to the real world. The door being open, he walked in and took off his Red Tape shoes and Nike socks. He came into the hall, kissed her on her cheeks and threw the suitcase on the sofa. "Men never grow" she thought. He freshened up and changed to more casual T Shirt and pajamas. He sat near her on the sofa and put his arms around her. They looked greedily at one another.

"So what was my cutie pie doing from the morning?" he asked fiddling with her fingers.
"The usual. Watched TV. Prepared something for my hubby. And now waiting for his review."
"Hmmm. I needn’t taste it. I know the result before hand."
"Uhumm. And may I know what it is?"
"It’s as tasty as you are." He said and kissed her on her lips.
"That’s all? Tasty as me?" She said
"Sorry" He said and bit his lips. "Less tasty than you are."

She smiled. He always had his way with words. Every time she tried to corner him, he would fend it off like a goalkeeper who doesn’t let the ball pass by.
"Lot of work darling?"
"No Honey. It was business as usual."
"Did your trip to Bahamas get confirmed?"
"Not yet dear. They will let me know the results by the next week."
"I would really miss you."
"We still have time. I can book tickets for you even now."
"Its too costly darling. Also we have to save for our home loan. So we better get down to some cost cutting measurements."
"Either way we both don’t have any relatives or parents alive to question us about our spending habits. So what are we going to do? Stay hungry, starve and repay the loan?"
"You know that you are the most sarcastic and naughty husband."
"Sarcastic now. Naughty later."

They laughed together at his silly joke. The TV ran for namesake and even the Mega serial Hero in it seemed to know that no one was watching him.
"Ok. Enough of your flirting. Go and eat it now." she said.
"What’s the hurry? We have the whole time for ourselves."
"My stupid husband. I have prepared your favorite Paav Bhaaji. If you want to eat it stone cold, it’s your wish."
"Wow. You never like it isn’t it? You don’t even have it when we go to hotel. Why did you do it then?"
"Because...." she bent over and kissed him on the corner of his lips "I love you."
He smiled. He dragged her near him and looked at her. He kissed her on her forehead and she fended him off.
"Enough. Go and eat now." She said and started to surf the channels.

He went and washed his hands. He took a plate and put the paav and bhaaji. He ate one mouthful and gave "Hmmmm" sound. She was happy to hear him go gaga over her efforts to prepare his favorite dish.

After tasting one piece of paav, he went to the washbasin and washed his hands. He tiptoed and went near her and stood behind her as she watched the glycerin soaked heroine in the mega serial. He took out the hand gloves from his pajama pocket and wore them. He brought the pillow from their bedroom and swiftly placed it on her face. Her shrieks were muffled beneath the pillow and all her efforts to escape were made null and void by his vice like strong grip on her.

After 2 painful and long minutes, she became silent. He checked her pulse. GONE. He had got rid off her. He could now stay happily ever after with his old flame Sheila whom he had met 2 months before in a conference meeting. Since then he had been having an illicit affair with her. He knew that his wife would never agree for a divorce and would make things complicated.

So he chose the simple way out. Eliminate her. He could now dig his dead wife very far away and move to some unknown place with Sheila. The Perfect Murder. He marched triumphantly to the table as if he was some warrior who had just annexed a kingdom and decided to finish off the rest of the paav bhaaji.

Inside the kitchen, in one of the shelves, a rat poison bottle lay innocently near her ticket to a far off place where there would be no questions asked. She had found out about his affair and decided to take matters in her own hands instead of choosing the longer path of Divorce, tears, agony and pain.

He ate relishing the delicious paav bhaaji. She had been a good cook and he was going to miss her.

As he ate the last piece of paav, his gaze transfixed on the Last Supper painting on the wall and he wondered why it appeared blurred to him.......

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Dead or Alive????

Sorry for the looooooong gap.

I seem to be enjoying an amazing writer's block which is so bad that I am even struggling to pen the requirements document for my project. Words suddenly seem to have deserted me much faster than shirts and girls deserting Mr. Salman Khan.

As for now, I have managed to throw in my other love....i.e movies for this summer. Check this space for more details.

Well...since I am completely unoriginal at the moment, let me sign off with a stolen line as the closing note.

"I will be back"!!!!!!!!!

Monday, March 03, 2008


In all these years of my film viewing, I believed that ROCKY was the best underdog movie ever made. Be it Stallone's almost flawless screenplay or the perfect casting of actors or be it Bill Conti's inspirational theme music, to me ROCKY is the perfect epitome of a Never-say-die spirited movie.

But sometimes we get to witness things that shake our very foundation of belief. I am sure that Stallone is not reading this, and if he does he would be terribly sad to lose this crown to some rank outsider. But then that’s the power of truth. It remains irrefutable. Just check out the clipping below. If you haven’t seen it till now, you can curse your stars may as well plan to murder me.

The moment you see Sam Anderson gyrate and emote on screen, you don’t know what emotion grips you immediately. Is it anger? Laughter? Disgust? Hatred? Or....surprise? How could someone be so self confident to do this? You may as well wonder what was the whole point of making this piece of junk when you know for sure that even the cast and crew member's kith and kin would not mention their association with such a terrible piece of work.

Maybe they didn’t know what to do with shit loads of money and wondered if this was the best way to spend it lavishly. The hero Sam Anderson's dance movements could contemplate Michael Jackson to recreate his famous Moon walk or force Hrithik or Prabhudeva to take penance from dancing. His emotions in the climax are razzy-worthy and if this was the emotion that the director approved by saying CUT.....I guess he must have been blind or must have been napping. I guess he was napping during the whole making of the movie itself.

I dont know how may people saw it in theatre's (hey...did this thing get released). For trivia lovers it is a movie called Yaarukku Yaaro. Believe it or not...this guy has an Orkut community in his name. Usually I would have posted such stuff in my other blog, but I guess my concern to entertain my fellow blogmates just overtook my interest in story telling.

If you feel good about yourself a few notches higher or if you had some hearty know whom to thank :-)