Thursday, September 11, 2008

Q & A

Q: Hi everyone. Today we are going to have a one-on-one discussion with firebrand politician, Mr. Taj Jockeray who is the chief of Megarashtra Naashkaal Sena (MNS). Hello Sir.

A: Namaste Bolo. Dont say Hello. It is english and you should learn to respect your language.

Q: (intimidated)Sssssorry Sir. Sir, how did you decide to enter politics?

A: That was simple. My uncle Mr. Gol Jockeray has been heading a party and doing 'social service' to Megarashtra for 30 odd years. When the junta can be so stupid to put up with him for so long, I clearly fancied my chances. And also...this is the only country in the world where you can talk anything and get away with it (winks).

Q: Wow. Thats quite an eye opener. What is your agenda sir?

A: Well. As of now my personal wealth is 30-40 crores. I would like to have something around 3-4000 crores by the time I retire. I think it is possible. Isnt it?

Q: Sssir?

A: And yeah. I want to have some roads named after me. Possibly a cricket stadium, a statue and so on. I am not greedy you see. Maybe I will buy a Bentley and a Ferrari. Buy some palatial house for my wife. And then....

Q: (interupting) Sir. I asked the agenda of your party.

A: (disinterested) Oh that? Thats the same shit that everyone says. Arey Pandu! What did you write as our agenda in that meeting speech?

Pandu: Upliftment of poor. Restoring our cultural pride. (thinks for some time) Bhool gaya saab.

A: Dont worry. The stupids who voted for us dont remember it either (he and his goons laugh at his joke). I think that superstar Suranjeevi also said something as such. Isnt it?

Q: (mumbles) All you morons have been saying the same shit since independence. And we stupids believe it.

A: What?

Q: I said that is so original and path breaking. No one ever thought on those lines.

A: Thanks. Thats why I made Pandu jump from my uncle's party to mine. Heck, cost me 2 C.

Q: Why should it cost you 'to see'? Is he like Madonna or Britney?

A: Idiot. I meant 2 crores. What kind of a reporter are you that does not even know 2 C? Every citizen in our country knows this.

Q: Pardon my ignorance Sir. Do you really mean what you say in your agenda?

A: You mean this upliftment of poor and all that crap? You think that every politician in our country or this world for that matter means it from their heart?

Q: (thinks) Not really.

A: Exactly. Either way you know that I will say 'YES'. Atleast I know that I am not in 'The Moment of Truth' and no one will ever realize whether I am lying or not.(laughs at his own joke)

Q: Good for you.Why did your release angry statement against Bollywood Superstar Bhumitabh Achchan?

A: Oh that. Well, a week ago I saw his film 'Slack' and I think he hammed too much. Wanted to retort in some way. All he had to do was open his mouth and speak. We twisted it. So simple.
Q: Oh. Your party men cleared his posters and also took out procession against him. Why?

A: Cmon. How long do you think I can be feeding them vada paav and Chicken Teriyaaki in my backyard. Those morons have to do some work for that to be digested. This was just some excercise for them.

Q: Why do you want Juhari's and JP state's members out from your state?

A: Because they wont vote for me.

Q: What?

A: (realizing he had said too much) I mean they dont vote in elections. And also they get promotions at work places that our state people. How can we tolerate that?

Q: You mean, a person whould get promoted if he is born here?

A: And if he votes for me (winks).

Q: So original. Why has your party targeted Gayrukh Khan now?

A: What to do? Its your fault.

Q: Mine?

A: Yeah. The media. We have to stay in news. The best way is to be a film star or cricketer. Next best way, is to launch attacks against them for any reason. And we are on all channels 24*7. Simple and effective.

Q: What is your next plan?

A: To take myself to the public.

Q: You are going to become pimp?

A: No re. I am planning to release a statement that all Bollywood producers should produce atleast one movie starring me. Either way my party men will 'take care' to make sure it runs for 100 days. So people will know me and I will become popular.

Q: And next?

A: I will threaten centre to release us and make us a separate country. That’s the only way I can realize my dream of becoming a PM. (looks above the ceiling
envisaging)

Reporter runs as fast as he could to escape the thought of the 'dream'.

Every discussion on a stupid politician ultimately culminates to this guy. Watch his amazing 'Top 10 Moments'.




14 comments:

Dimplicious said...

Ha ha..good one!!Stayin in mumbai, I can feel your post even more!!Hmmm...very true!!These guys are really too much at tyms..Blackening of faces,unnecessary riots and what not!!!And moment of truth..I wanna watch the programme soon!!Heard its pretty interestin..from what I've heard, don't you think it would be so good if all the politicians are made to compulsorily appear before the lie detector?But I suppose it wouldn't work..These guys are so hard-hearted to even hide their emotions from a lie-detector!!!

Sat said...

//this is the only country in the world where you can talk anything and get away with it //
hehehe....seriously! And we rebuke America for meester bush! arey we have dubya's clones (and worse) all over the place!
At times I've felt like screaming at those news channels 'get that butt with spectacles on it off the TV for sometime will ya....coz whatever is coming out of it....stinks!'

//Why should it cost you 'to see'? Is he like Madonna or Britney? Is he like Madonna or Britney?
//
LMAO i see double entendre here....more like justin timberlake...he brought that 'sexy back' didnt he? :D
//You are going to become pimp//
another gem!...i like this interviewer chap!

Chaitü said...

hahhaahaa.... nice play Harish :)

Karthik B.S. said...

you r staying in singapore and can get away with it. me going to stay there, so will be guarded in my comments. hehhe.... kidding..

when no one gives a damn about them, the try these desperate measures to gain publicity. What else than cheap attack on famous personalities?

I fear, Maradoss would take a leaf out this guy's book.

Priya Iyer said...

:)) good one... its so true... and loved the names you have made up..

Nivi said...

Lol. Really good one.

My solution to solve this problem

All media channels should boycott this guy. We are not a news starved country. We have plenty of news. Worst case we have some bollywood couple to report on. That is better than this guy. Boycott him. Make him faceless! That is the best slap on his face

gils said...

hmmm..ithuku neja peraiye potrukaalam..seri vaarals :)

Ramya Ramani said...

:))

Ramya Ramani said...

\\ I want to have some roads named after me. Possibly a cricket stadium, a statue and so on. I am not greedy you see. Maybe I will buy a Bentley and a Ferrari. Buy some palatial house for my wife. And then....\\

Too Much :)

Krishna said...

Hey..that is so true. You brought out the stark reality in such a funny way. Glad that you did.
Politicians like Raj just suck. And there is no dearth of such ppl in politics. After all politics is the last resort of scoundrels.

Btw, Harish, please do visit my blog and accept the award that i have given you. You are one of my fav bloggers. So do come.

Priya Iyer said...

you have an award waiting for you. pls visit my blog and accept it. :)

Harish said...

@dimplicious
If politicians were to mandatorily pass MOMENT OF TRUTH test, every parliament would be empty.
And yeah...U shld see it. Its AWESOME.

@sat
"et that butt with spectacles on it off the TV for sometime will ya"
same same :P

@chaitu
Thanks yaar

@BSK
Not true. My parents and kith and kin, friends stay in India. So whatever happens there is still my affair wherever I may live.

I wish no one gave a damn to what they said :(

Harish said...

@Priya
hee hee...just like that

@Nivi
"Worst case we have some bollywood couple to report on"
I hope as u said, for his sake there were more affairs in bollywood and channels run covering them instead of this a******.

@Gils
ellam unga kittendu katundadu daan :P

Harish said...

@Ramya
apdi solla koodadu. Avar ellam apdi daan ninaichindu irukkar :P

@Krishna
Thanks man. Felt priveleged :)

@Priya
Ada makka. Thats a good day :)