Thursday, October 09, 2008

The Desperate Housewife

He: "I can't believe we spent 400 bucks on this useless piece of trash."

She: "Told ya. After all this guy made Dhoom. You can't expect him to turn out a Dark Knight for heaven's sake."

He: Yeah, I know. But then, what was I supposed to do? After all, we need to do something on Friday evening.

She: Well, for starters you could have taken my suggestion.

He: And what would that be? End up with something like Maama Mia or Aaja Nachle? Gosh, they had so many songs like Hum aapke hain kaun.

She: Wow. You remember it? I thought you dozed off midway through the movie.

He: I would have for the entire 2 hours, if you were not constantly nudging me and asking me to look at Madhuri's dress, costumes and glowing skin.

She: You didn't hear my suggestion yet.

He: You don't forget, do you? So what was your Friday bailout plan?

She: Simple. Order a sumptuous Pizza from Pizza hut and play the "Jab We Met" DVD on our home theatre system.

He: Didn't we do that previous month on some Friday?

She: You can thank me my dear husband. You were planning to watch 'Mission Istanbul'.

He: Damn! You remember everything. I donno why do these idiots keep making such stupid trash.

She: Because there are idiots like you who are prepared to pay and watch it. And there are innocent people like me who have to accompany without choice.

He: Look. What am I supposed to do? After all the boring work I do for 5 days in a week, I need some outlet.

She: Outlet? Sounds like you need some chimney fixed above your head.

He: No. Like, I need to see few explosions, few thrills, car chases, double-crossing, Villains getting bashed. You know that I can't do these in my real life for sure. Atleast lemme watch someone else do it.

She: Not late you know. I can atleast help you with the 'getting bashed up' part.

He: Looks like you have some plans of your own.

She: You betcha!

He: Now you sound like Sarah Palin.

She: I am not that dumb yet honey.

He: God, we need to travel so far back to home. Damn you Imran Khan!

She: Stop cursing him. He was okay. Besides, you got your fill. What do you care about?

He: What fill? There were hardly any thrills in the movie.

She: You could not take your eyes off Minisha's cleavage.

He: As if I designed her costumes. She comes half naked for the whole movie. What am I supposed to do? Cover my eyes like kids?

She: Like you did when you went to Rangeela ?

He: How do you know that?

She: Your mom told me.

He: See. I have been such a good kid back then.

She: Don't bluff boss. She saw you watching Urmila's non-existent dress through the gap of your fingers while you maintained your act of being 'holier-than-thou'.

He: Oops! Should I call it busted?

She: So tell me? You could not stop staring right?

He: Look. It was unintentional. I went to watch an action movie. What can I do if a chick decides to skip wearing dress and the director turns out to be a sleazy bugger?

She: Quite right. Do you know that the couple next to us was sitting with their arms intertwined?

He: You should have told me. I would have suggested few good surgeons to consult.

She: Haa haa haa. Very funny. You were so romantic before marriage.

He: (mutters) next time, I should check for individual seats.

She: What?

He: Nothing. Next time, you sit on my lap and I will feed you an ice-cream.

She: You dont get it do you? You think that buying me a 5000 Rs Necklace or a costly sari or expensive Burberry perfume is going to compensate for the time I don't get to spend with you?

He: You tell me, what to do?

She: That's the point. There is little joy in getting things that I ask for. Greater joy lies in getting the unsaid wish list. For me...... and you.

Both remain silent for another 30 mins. They reach their house and she opens the door and almost slams it.

As she enters, she is astonished to find a huge portrait of theirs in the hall.

She looks at him and is at loss for words.

He: I remembered you looking at the portrait that day in the photo studio. Thought it would be a nice surprise.

She: But how did you do it?

He: Let's keep that a secret. Otherwise I can't do something like some other time.

She: Tell No. Pleaseeeeeeeeee.

He: (takes her in his arms and whispers) Women and secret. They never go together.


Dimplicious said...

Another one in ur "he-she" posts..Oh wel am ardent fan of all ur "he-she" posts!!They r so witty na..Tis one hd few gems in it as well..The "holier than thou" and ur very last line!!!But wel I dint see the potrait part comin..Jus thot u'll end up sayin sth swt than doin sth swt!!Newaz good one again!!

Priya Iyer said...

he he.... enjoyed reading thru it.. :) is it always THIS bad??

Krithika said...

hey u thought it all the way thru..
n listen to my theory..
women n secret do go together, they jus dont when those secrets are abt men :P

Ganesh said...

Nice post.... and remember seeing James Bond flicks thru the gaps of my fingers :)

SKM said...

very funny way of putting all together. I just loved it.

//You could not take your eyes off Minisha's cleavage.
He: As if I designed her costumes. She comes half naked for the whole movie. What am I supposed to do? Cover my eyes like kids?//

I agree with you. Appdi dress panna Appdithan parkamudiyum. I blame women for that. They damage their own repute.

// she is astonished to find a huge portrait of theirs in the hall.//
Idhu nijama? If sweet!!!!
Good job!

u made my day with your post.Thanks.

prithz said...

Hehe! Surprises are so much fun! It would be wonderful to get one everyday :P

nivi said...

Awww! I like your he-she posts and its a nice way of a movie review! I guess it was hijack or something. That bad huh!

KK said...

Are you spying on me??? or is this veetuku veedu vaasa padi???
Almost the same squence happened last friday... we went Body of Lies... I liked it but she didnt... Only thing different is... I dint give any surprise... veetukku poi paduthu thoongiten :D

Harish said...

Hee hee. Sweet is good. But that wld make it too lovey-dovey. So just did the portrait thing.

@Priya tell me. You will know it in couple of months, wont ya :)

Wow....I should use this sometime.

You oughta say "Bond girls" :P

Harish said...

"u made my day with your post.Thanks."
You know what. You made my day with your comment!!!! Stuff like this is what makes me blog...inspite of intermittent writer's block.

Aasai dosai appala vadai :P

I guess better than Karzzzzzzzzzz.....

Body of Lies? With family?
En nanba en. En ippadi unga pondaatiya kodumai padutareenga. Idelaam bachelor life oda mootai katta vendiyadu daan :P

nandoo said...

kathai nalla irukku nanbaa... aana inge padam paakum pothu naan thoongi poyidren... ennaku oru elavum puriya maatenguthu... english padamnaalum seri... hindi padamnaalum seri :D