Monday, November 13, 2006

V for Vetti

A shopping mall is the best place to look around for characters if you are a writer. You get to see anything and everything. One gets to see patterns in the people of the same ethnicity and it really surprises at times. It’s easy to spot Asians because they always tend to travel in groups. Particularly Desis are famous for that. If you happen to see someone taking a snap of another in a long shot, when no one else in the mall thought of doing that...its gotta be a desi.

During Halloween time it was even funnier. There was a woman walking in the mall with wings like a witch and a saber tooth like a Dracula. There was one thing that I observed in US when I landed here on first day. There are only 2 categories of people in terms of size. Either they look like straight-out-of-gym types or like honey-I-blew-them size. In short they are either very fit or very fat. There are people walking around calling themselves as School students, but by their size and build even I looked like a Kindergarten kid in front of them.

There was a Caucasian family where the parents walked in front leaving their children behind as if they had got the children for free from some fair. Behind them was their 4 year old kid who was pushing the perambulator of her 2 year old sibling who seemed to consider that having a feeding bottle nipple in mouth and locked to the machine was a better option than being an s/w engg. The kids are very cute, but beware before you set your eyes on them. If they happen to see you around looking innocently at their kids as such, the next thing you could know might be being frisked away by cops being implicated of acting (?) like Michael Jackson.

The best characters however are the "Yo Guys", "Brother" or our African-American brothers. I have no idea on earth how they grow their hair in all sizes and shapes. Irrespective of men, women and childern, they grow it vertically, horizontally, diagonally, plait them, and have beads around like Henry Olonga and god know what. They wear their caps on their head at an angle greater than 15 degree and less than 365 degree which in straight words can be explained that they NEVER wear their caps straight.

Even the men wear so much of jewellery and diamonds that an average Indian father could get all his 5 daughters married and settled if he were to rob just one of the "brother". They have a distance walking style limping around like as if "their mom just forgot to give them their quota of polio drops" (as quoted by my friend Jithu). Their dresses are so big and loose enough that an average Indian can raise his family, 2 kids and his dog if he were to make a tent out of it.

Just as I was thinking these, a woman just looked at me and turned her head in disgust. Wondering why I went to have a look at myself in the mirror around and found out the reason. I had stubble for 4 days and it looked like I had mourned the death of my dog and had buried it in a cemetery nearby. My eyes had swollen due to lack of sleep and so I looked drunk. That’s when I remembered the immortal last lines uttered in the movie Some like it hot

"Well, nobody's perfect" :-)

17 comments:

Sandai-Kozhi said...

Thats so true. The way they dress here...you should tell that in your style.
Boys shorts/pants are so loose they always come down..
girls shorts ,you don't get to see longer than 6inches...
and if you happened to sit behind them...oh!MY!
enjoyed reading your post.--SKM

Aditi said...

quite observant and well written but i could thikn of a few points u missed
as for the hair i think a lot of it i s extensions

KK said...

Nicely written Harish!!!
Thala neengaluma??? I too love watching people... I used to like doing that in India itself...here more entertainment... as you said different ethnic people have different behaviors... Pattern of moving in the mall is also different have you observed?

Heidi Kris said...

haha.. nice one.. sply the look of the 2 yr old kid better than a s/w engg.

Sat said...

hey this brother thing's really some epidemic these days...at least tht word! :D
This is what i overheard recently in forum (neram, as usual movie-ku ticket kadaikala!)
guy1: hey brother....long time no see! how are you?
guy2: fine brother!...hey i had called you last week, said u will return the call, but never did!
guy1: hey that wud've been my brother....coz i aint got no mobile!

now i am not to be blamed if i looked like a G.E.M trying not to laugh my head off!

bindhu said...

Not only there. I go to spencers here and see men and women of all sizes and shapes.

Not to forget the drunk looking stubble growing men ogling at everyone they see ;)

Has to be me said...

when u point a finger @ someone, remember that there r 4 fingers pointing @ u!!! Ur experience here justifies this totally!

priya said...

People follow their own groups due to insecurity unless you are born here and date someone of different race.
Did you say desi?? Give them a penny, they won't even smile at you coz they think you might ask their horoscope:-))

People who first landup always look for everything coz in India ther is not freedom for too much pleasures to watch mini skirts and dazzling low shorts.

mystery said...

haha..i could exactly picture what ur talking...been and seen everything u mentioned...just puts a grin on my face thinking about it...:)

Keshi said...

**Even the men wear so much of jewellery and diamonds that an average Indian father could get all his 5 daughters married and settled if he were to rob just one of the "brother".

LOL!

Keshi.

prithz said...

Haha! Superb post!

I have done this kinda observations in malls too... wat i cant stand is the extra-large-baggy shorts and really long t-shirts that almost touch the guys knees.. n on top of all this... their hair is coloured in purple and sticks out in all directions.... arrrgggghhh!

Bhargavi sekhar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bhargavi sekhar said...

wow..i mean lol! or wateva..just blog-hopped here..jus too gud!!and especially the comment about the photo capturing mania of our lot!!had fun!:D

Harish said...

@SKM
There is some amount of decency that I need to maintain here yaar :-)

@Aditi
I guess I was just averagely observant and must have missed a lot...some in writing here as well :-)

@KK
Exactly boss. We humans are so predictable

@Heidi
Hee hee...thanks

Harish said...

@Sat
lol...that was funny. I remember that video i saw on You Tube :-)

@Bindu
Trust me. Nama ooravida inda oorula size and shape are worse enough :-)

@HTBM
Bang on target madam :-)

@Priya
Tell you what. I feel more happy when I see someone clad in chudidar or saree. Perhaps I am bloody old fashioned :-)

Harish said...

@Mystery
Wow...then it is mission accomplished

@Keshi
hee hee...now that was someone smiling :-)

@Prithz
spiked eh? Nama oorulayae anda kanraavi thaanga mudiyala

@Bhargavi
Welcome here. True yaar. Even I behaved the same way when I arrived here. I guess it subdued now with time :-)

Jay said...

Good one mapla and for god's sake stop quoting my lines in your blog as I'm running outta things to write.