Monday, November 06, 2006

True or False

She was barely out of her teens and looked very fresh. Aslam, the film reporter of a local newspaper was looking at the new Mumbai heroine Savitha. It was the shooting of the movie "Paapa potta Thaapa" (The girl who locked the latch). While purists argued that the title sounded pornographic, the producer and director didn’t seem to mind much. They were happy that this title made them use double entendre intentionally in the movie with hell lot of glamour and oomph targeted at their youth audience. What more, they would also get tax exemption from the state government for naming their film in Tamil :-)

This was the Mumbai Girl Savitha's first Tamil movie. Her mother was seated nearby and as per heroine's mother’s norms she was having all her share of apple juice and throwing tantrums at the hapless Assistant directors. The make up girl was applying more rose powder needlessly to her already rose colored cheeks. She was reading Sidney Sheldon’s' Best Laid Plans. Aslam didn’t know if really heroines did read Sheldon or pretended to do so as he had seen most of them do that.

Aslam: So where are you from?
Savitha: I am from Mumbai. The director approached me after he saw me in an ad.
Aslam: How do you find TamilNadu?
Savitha: Oh it’s a nice place. Ennakku tamil konjaam konjaam teriyum. Is this rite?
Aslam: Wow you are good.


Liar. She was running a bulldozer over Tamil with intensity greater than the Tamil TV comparers and a touch lesser than Udit Narayan. May the noble souls of Valluvar and Bharathi rest in peace.

The physics of Indian male is funny. They fantasize heroines as their lovers or wives. That’s why the Indian heroines have not been successful playing title roles after marital bliss. Heroines were dumb and stupid or had to act as such. Those who didn’t follow the convention found themselves playing sister, mother or grandma (in worst cases) to heroes who were old enough to act as their great grandpa. The more lucky ones became mega serial heroines who cried at a drop of a hat. The rest chose to become some Durga, Lakshmi or Parvati or whatever goddess with all jewels locked in RBI and seated over a fake tiger. After the shot got over, Savitha and her super mom went inside the caravan van to take some rest. Aslam's interview was over and he just had to spice it up a little for his gossip loving public.

Inside the caravan, the following conversation happens in chaste Marathi

Savitha: I hate to do this. Why can’t I tell that I am a tamilian settled long before in Mumbai and have to lie about this?
Mom: Are you stupid? Except Trisha and Sneha how many Tamil heroines do you know in the movie industry? Nobody knows this truth about us. Look, your market rate is just based on the fact that you are from Mumbai.
Savitha: (sobbing) But I hate this mom. Did you see how that son of a bitch reporter was ogling at me? I feel uncomfortable doing this mom.
Mom: Savitha, dont become emotional. Just do a few more films. Wait till we find some rich business man or a producer's son. Do you think I want to make you go through all this?


Savitha didn’t say anything. She looked outside the caravan window. The sun was going deep down behind the mountain and nobody around seemed to be in a mood to appreciate it. She was having a sense of Deja vu.

26 comments:

Aditi said...

very interesting twist.. nicely writtne
=)

prithz said...

Oh... that was quite pathetic.. are such things really happening behind the scene?

btw, very well written (as usual) :)

Syam said...

paapa potta thaapa va? shakila padam maathiri irukey :-)

s0ul said...

hey, nice work .

mystery said...

funny title...paapa potta thaapa...hahhaa...and thanks a lot for ur wishes...:)

Janani said...

Are things like this happening???? Feeling sorry for them!!!!

Anonymous said...

Money pours down on ya only when you speak koncham koncham tamil... :)

Ayshu said...

Actually that movie name: pap potta thappa" is something we used to give in dumb C..:-) Also yes this is how it is..i hv someone v close to me in the "kollywood" industry and she tells me these funny stories..ur narration is so close to reality!

Has to be me said...

fact or fiction? Sad but true.

Karthik B.S. said...

idha padichadhumey Vivek-oda dialogue dhaan ninaivukku vandhichu:

Vivek: Unakku thamizh theriyuma?
Girl: Theriyum!
Vivek: Appona nee Mumbaiku po!

Nalla Amma, nalla ponnu! :)

Anonymous said...

Something different and good one. She waits for the riches which can/neverbe:-))

Heidi Kris said...

Nice write-up and interesting twist in the end.. but somehow cudnt appreciate the ending coz no mom would trade with the modesty of her daughter!

Anonymous said...

Funny! Was reminded of Vivek's comedy in which he auditions for the role of a Tamizh newsreader or something.

Very well written!

Madhu said...

good write up . the previous one on Nokia was too good and enjoyable .

Sat said...

No I can't accept this...Trisha tamil-a???
Ever seen that skinny Trash-a accept that she knows tamil?
I've seen TV interviews where she put up that act that she couldn't pronounce the word vetri (she said it like vetti....yeah sure!)
And on some brainless chat show hosted by an equally hi-fi non tamil knowing hostess; Anu 'khandani' hassan (why khandani, well if she wasn't a hassan, who the hell would've bothered to put her in that talk show...barf!)
Well, coming back to that coffee show, she didn't know what acham madam naanam meant...seriously, give me a break
On one hand you have the morons who have their funda about naming the films in tamil; on the other hand you got these retards.
Quite a balanced crowd we have er?

Sat said...

hehehe...romba kathiteno? :D
nee kumudhaduku oru pakkam siru kadhai ezhuthu man...IT-la kuppa kotraduku adhu thevalam!

Bindu said...

:( paavama irukku.

Seri, do you have a feed url? How do I subscribe to your feeds?

zeno said...

nice story

Sandai-Kozhi said...

well written story.It is very close to the truth i think so.Thats the life.vesham podradhai nijamnu nambuvanga.nijathai vesham podranu sollvanga.
you have a knack in writing.--SKM

seriously_frivolous said...

Dood! hilarious! Laughed my #$$ off reding it. In fact it was pretty much what I always used to joke about ...the way these new kids talk tamil..what I can say..valgey tamil ;)

Usha said...

that bulldozer line was great! :-)) Udith Narayan-a indha vaaru vari iruka venda :)

Marutham said...

ENAKKU SIRIKRADHA ILLA INDHA PONNUKU PARIDHAABA PADRADHAANU OREY CONFUSION BA.... BUt always she can escape fromthe very odd & stupid mom...Odi poidumaa :P LOL!!

Harish said...

@Aditi
Thanks yaar

@Prithz
Unfortunately it seems yes

@Syam
hee hee...freeya vidu thalai

@Soul
Thanks yaar

@Mystery
Aint it working that way now?Any stupid title in tamil and tax excemption? Gimme a break

@Janani
Me too

Harish said...

@Ayushu
I do try my best :-)

@HTBM
truly...really sad

@Kartik
Correct pa. Anda dialogue correctum thaane :-)

@Kris
I wish it was like that. But the truth seems to be far away from reality.

@Madhu
Thanks a ton yaar

@sat
Cool down yaar. Idellam tamilnaatu la sagajam. btw...ur option is financially not viable :-)

Harish said...

@Bindu
Cant be blogrolled? :-)

@Zeno
Thanks yaar

@SKM
Ur last line made my day :-)

@SF
Hee hee....thanks a ton boss :-)

Harish said...

@Usha
Aama..pinna enna?Avana en thaan paada vechchu nama uyira vaangaraangalo

@Marutham
uhum...enga odi poradu? The society would still be after her..