Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Mr. Yogi and the Gold Medal

"Yeyyyyyyy" yelled Yogi. For a moment, he forgot that he was in a crowded bus stop and that the rest of passengers were looking at him like some piece of vermin. Ignoring them, Yogi asked the details of the gold medal that Bindra had won. As long as Yogi remembered, India hardly won any medals in Olympics save a bronze or silver courtesy some fighting sportsman. Coming to think of it, Yogi was surprised that he felt happy and content.

One gold.

One billion
people and one gold.

Even countries like Ethiopia won a gold medal consistently in Olympics. And we were winning a gold medal after 28 years. Countries which roughly have the population of Chennai or Delhi win atleast 2 gold medals. And we? One gold. This year, we sent about 99 people to Olympics out of which 57 were athletes and 42 were their family members. The Chinese, who are numbered just a little above us in terms of population, sent 600+ athletes.

What were we Indians good at? There should be something that should separate us from the rest of the world. What… we code well? Or as in a technical term, we copy and paste well? We are the worlds back end office. Ok...now that sounded vulgar. But maybe it was the truth. Touche that Yogi who was one among the herd should think of that.

At that time a petite young girl passed by in a scooty. She was wearing a T Shirt which read "Your Boyfriend is staring" which made Yogi laugh. Maybe the girl had got the T Shirt at the wrong place. This was India. Her T Shirt should have read "Your Boyfriend, Brother, Uncle, Father, Grandfather, Dead Great Grand father are staring. Hey...even your mom is staring!!!!".

To the rest of the world, we may be a nerdy and tech savvy country, but inside we still live in rock ages. A girl wearing T-shirt and jeans is till been ogled at in India. And if she is driving any vehicle, you can multiply the count of eyes following her by 2. The amazing thing is that some pervert men ogle at any half (possibly quarter) decent looking girl as if they just dropped Venus to invade them in mars.

The less said about the treatment meted out on dark skinned girls the better. They are looked as social outcasts and sinners. The worst part is that they are humiliated by their own family members. Every man looks at a woman as an object of affection. And yeah....one of Yogi's friend mentioned that girls liked to be noticed. BUT, NOT OGLED.

The way some Indian men stare at unmentionable places for too long, she said, was that even if she didn't look at them, she could feel them gazing. The day Yogi heard that statement, he stopped staring at women like that. At least metro folks were better because they studied in co-ed schools and worked with women and so maintained certain level of decorum. Imagine the folks who might have lived in environment where mingling with women was taught as something taboo?

But then you can't blame the guys. For such an awareness to exist as in western countries and metros, you should propagate sex education. And as long as we have the Senas, Dals, Kazhagams and Leagues 'protecting' our 'culture', this was never ever possible. Who remembers that it was one of our own who wrote the sex odyssey Kamasutra? And how did we rise to become the second populous country on earth? Did we all Indians drop from tree-tops?

Maybe that was what many of our folks were good at. Staring and ogling. Maybe we should have an Ogling championship or medal in Olympics. And more...we can have a 50m, 100m, 400m and relay in Ogling. Yogi was sure that those specially talented Indian men would win Gold, Silver and Bronze hands down in each category. No competition. Hurray!!!! Multiple gold medals for us at last.

As Yogi waited for the bus, he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was his cousin sister who was on the way to college. Yogi noticed that the bearded guy standing next to him was ogling at his sister. Yogi kept looking at him, but he didn’t seem to turn around in shame or embarrassment. Yogi had noticed by practice that the average time taken to make such a pervert Indian male stop look at a women was 25-30 seconds.

Yogi coughed. That was the time the guy realized that Yogi was even standing near her. He turned his head to other side. That's when Yogi noticed the guy next to the bearded fella was staring at her. Yogi coughed again.

He didn't seem to turn away. Now...that was a potential gold winner.

P.S: Since this has been a mokkai serious post, you can cool yourself with this amazing Tex Avery cartoon. Enjoy!!!!!

20 comments:

Ramya Ramani said...

It is kind of a sensitive topic ..

Indians are kind of used to this that they hardly realize that it doesn't look good to stare at someone like tat!
Lest they blame the hormones for it!

Of Course few girls also feel happy when they are being "noticed". I feel Change must come from both the ends.It is all dependent on the individual's way of looking at things :)

nivi30 said...

Finally a post that talks about this ogle crazy nature of us.

Seriously what is with that! And i refuse to accept that if you were short clothes , men look at you and the whole, you are tempting him argument.

I have seen guys ogle even if you are in a salwar or worse a saree. They better start resisting instead of telling us how to clothe.

Again as long as we ass***** like ramdoss and other such idiots we can expect riots and bandh for stupid things like "girls anklets are being shown, this is temptation for men, women should wear clothes that sweep the floor" or something similiar to that .

I think the people as such should banish these guys and not heed a word and do another bandh thats like "Blasphemy, ramdoss still breathing" or something

what say?

Karthik B.S. said...

This year, we sent about 99 people to Olympics out of which 57 were athletes and 42 were their family members.

ha ha ha!

Karthik B.S. said...

Leavealone Ethiopia, Michael Phelps single handedly won 4 gold medals (as of now) for his country.

Karthik B.S. said...

The term "eve teasing" is known only in India. That speaks volumes, isn't it?

Meena said...

I have come across some guys who shamelessly ogle and proclaim,"Boys will be boys" when caught red-handed. The problem is that these ppl actually do not realise that its a sick act.

Having said that, I should mention that there are a few gals who ogle too... but they are seldom caught..

Good read... was glad to find a post on this in a guy's blog!! :)

Priya Iyer said...

:) interesting topic to write on..

i loved the cartoon, btw.. it was too good..

Vidya Natarajan said...

One gold is a big thing after so many years
but at least we have progressed!
tht is sumthing to be happy for!

prithz said...

Whoofooo!!! Full form only :P

Your post speaks a girl's mind just like we would think of men when they shamelessly stare away! Well done.

Anyways, glad we at least have a gold medal now. Things have to start somewhere right? :)

The cartoon.. wow! So awesome! Let's do a tamil version of it sometime :D What say? :P

prithz said...

Whoofooo!!! Full form only :P

Your post speaks a girl's mind just like we would think of men when they shamelessly stare away! Well done.

Anyways, glad we at least have a gold medal now. Things have to start somewhere right? :)

The cartoon.. wow! So awesome! Let's do a tamil version of it sometime :D What say? :P

gils said...

!!ithu kaamedi posta seriousa?

Harish said...

@Ramya
Yeha. Quite true. But acceptedly...men stare a lot :P

@Nivi
Truth to be said is that we dont have string laws to punish for any crime. Does this happen in Arab countries? Nope. Why? Because the punishment is something unimaginable.

Screw human rights. Trust me...if the laws are made strict, we may feel chained in some aspects....but we will be safe atleast :-)

@BSK
Yep. And inspite of that some innocent girl keeps dying. That ALSO happens in our place :(

Harish said...

@Meena
Hee hee. Guess...this is also an inspiration.

@Priya
hee hee...its AWESOME actually :-)

@Vidhya
I guess we are caught wrong footed there :(

Harish said...

@Meena
Hee hee. Guess...this is also an inspiration.

@Priya
hee hee...its AWESOME actually :-)

@Vidhya
I guess we are caught wrong footed there :(

Harish said...

@Prithz
"Things have to start somewhere right? :) "
Shouldnt we have started way back before :(

hee hee...coincidentally I thought abt the same. Like "kelambu kaaathu varatum", "padippukkum enakkum dooram".
U draw and I will dub. How? Can ah :P

@Gils
Idu eppadi nu enakku teriyala. Next post ku jarungandi jarugandi :P

Zanychild said...

arrgg....oru gold win pannone!
pothumnu thoniduchu pola!!!
yeah inime India Jaikanumna debates vachu wat ga,es to includunu nadathalam
athula all those things u said can b highlighted!
lolzzz
ennapanrathu
we r all living in kalikalam!

Zanychild said...

We can stage an Ogle War!
namaku vetri nichayam!
athu theiva sathiam!

Manoj said...

What's the problem with ogling? And like women don't do it? Atleast men ogle and say something that's sorta positive about the woman. But when woman ogle nah? They search for the suckiest feature of the guy (like how he ogles at women) and that kinda becomes the point of discussion later on.

And why do they wear t-shirts with messages written where they don't want anybody to look at? I just start with having a harmless look like 'Hey, something's written over there. Let's see what it says..' and as I go readin it somethings else capture my attention and these little buggers all over my blood go "PM PM PM PM PM". Hell I have a hard time stopping myself from touching anything and you're complaining about ogling? Don't want people in your house? Don't invite them.

I think it's the female attitude that's at fault. Talk about the women of India. I smile at a woman I don't know. Does she smile back and think I'm friendly? Nah, she thinks I'm a jollu party. I try to help a girl in distress. Do I come as a kind being? Nah, I'm seen as doing it just because she's a she. I avoid women and am I seen as just minding my own business? Nah, I'm seen as a no-confidence mysogynist (psychotic probably). I might as well ogle. No?

Veens said...

i dnt knw what to say
abt olympics..and ab ogling.. :-/

SKM said...

video is cool!:D