Kaun Banenge Humaare Brangelina?

For the people whose hindi knowledge hangs on the thin threads of "Ek Gaanv mein ek aadmi rehta tha", the meaning of the title of this post means "Who will be the Indian Brangelina?"

Now you are wondering "Should we really care?".  Right?

Of course you should. As per a recent piece of news, apparently Angelina Jolie told a kid from the film Slumdog Millionaire that she is planning to adopt a kid from India. So it means that the ever increasing family of Brangelina is going to increase its count size. They have almost lined up their arsenal of kids from every possible third world countries which are strived by war or poverty or you-name-it.

I dont mean to speak ill of them in this context, because

1. Personally, I can’t even take care of myself, let alone so many kids. So I have no amount of right to ridicule them and their noble intentions.

2. There is a saying in tamil which literally translates to "The one who has long hair, will tie a hair-bun." They have money and they can afford to support them and most of all she has a will to help people and so she does it. Hats off Madam!

Oh...ok you are confused? You are wondering that if they are so good, why we need an Indian Brangelina. Of course we need them. We have this negative image of poor imporvished country which we ought to break and to do that we need to do the reverse of what they are doing.

Meaning?

Lets adopt kids from the first world countries like US, UK, Australia and so on.

For that, we need a high profile couple who have the clout and visibility as Brangelina.And so, like Kaun Banega Crorepati, your options are

A. M K and Jaya

No one knows how to raise kids and making them high profile as M K. Every possible position in his party has been held by his scions or relatives. In short, like Congress has "Jai Ho" as their theme song, DMK should have the song "Where is the Party, Ada Nama Ootula Party" as their theme song. Gels quite well, isnt it?

As for Jaya, well, you got to blame her party men for naming her Amma. If she can be Amma for so many lakhs of her Partymen, couple of children wouldnt hurt.

The additional advantage of this pair is that, they have truckloads of money (so what if under binami) and also the kids wont need to stay alone. They can play with Stalin Uncle, Sasikala Chiththi, Maaran Maama. See, it seems like one big happy family in Vikraman movie :)

2. Raj and Maya

Ok. Arguably quite an odd couple. But see, you should understand the motive behind this whole operation. It is to bring to end many disparities. Raj Bhai is so "Kind" and "soft". Imagine, how nice it will be when he and his team of goons will teach Americans, Europeans to speak and write in Marathi? They can eat Vada paav, go to Chaupati Beach, threaten...eh...sorry...meet Amitabh. Mazaa aayega!!!

Maya Didi will ask her party cadres who are going to contest in the elections to teach the kids to stab (mean chicken yaar), shoot and also talk in "shudhdh" hindi laden with expletives. The children can also have additional statues of their own alongside Maya didi.

They can accompany her to various party meetings where seat sharing, dealings and horse-trading will be done and these kids can then someday take these cultural learnings to their place and "prosper". I mean, why should we be the only spoilt ones?

3. Lalu and Rabri

What...you are surprised? Come one, they are an ideal couple. Look, how much trust you should have if you can make your wife who has hardly crossed the street to buy veggies to run one of the most dangerous states in the country? That, my friends is marital commitment and trust.

And also their rich experience in handling kids close to size of cricket team speaks volumes of their parenting skills. Also the kids can also learn how to feed fodder to cows (or how to make a scam out of it if they are smart enough). They can milk the cows, celebrate holi, go in tonga during election stunts. Aah...Incredible India isnt it?

4. Simbhu and Nayanthara

Eh....sorry...I needed 4 options. And quite frankly this constitutes the Brangelina type Bad-Boy-Plus-Hot-Lady concept. Donno if you have any reservations against them. Of course we can swap them with Salman and Katrina (although the western kids might not want to hug Katrina as her name resembles a hurricane :P).

So what do you think? Who deserves to be the winner?

Shoot your thoughts and opinions or even your choices on who makes an ideal couple to be the Indian Brangelina.