Not Out....

I have been slow, sad, boring, happy, touching, creative, moronic...name it and seems so....in these almost 2 years....and churned 100 posts :-).



I thank EVERYONE of you who have been reading this blog for so long....and inspiring me week after week.

The Forgotten

(Tried a non-linear narrative. Try to visualize as much as possible)

March 31, 2007 (in Black and white)
"5000 Now. Another 5000 after the job is done". He accepted the money gleefully and thrust it in his pocket. This was indeed easy money than the job that he was doing. He never understood why politicians needed to carry out Bandhs, Processions, and burn effigies and so on. May be it was a part of their 'How-to-become-an-evil-and-successful' politician curriculum. Who cares? There is a bandh today, so everything will come to standstill. The working class people could take this opportunity to have a break and stay at house. No tuition for the kids. Only the poor get affected. But hey, didn’t they promise on TV that the bandh was for the oppressed and depressed? Ha...Even they know that it’s a lie to get hold of their vote banks. So as the streets get deserted, he was supposed to carry out his mission.

March 23, 1931(in color)
He was reading a book. There was no sign of any anxiety or fear on his face. As usual he smiled at the guards who came to pick him up. The warden appeared softer than usual. "You know that you can still avert it." Why don’t these people understand? They also know that he would never do that. Maybe they thought that in the last moment he would become afraid and would chicken out. He laughed as if the warden had told him a joke. He kept his book on the shelf and walked towards them.
"Let’s go Sir". He knew no fear.

In the political language a Bandh becomes successful only when there are riots. Some buses have to be burnt, some people should be injured and must be admitted to the hospital so that they can be shown on television as the "victims" of the bandh. Today his job was to collect some people and do some damage in the nearby areas. He had already picked his gang members and they had also chosen a spot. It would be the market in their nearby locality where a few shops would be broken and ransacked. The public and central government should remember this bandh...at least for some time.

As he walked past the corridor he could hear his fellow prisoners murmuring. Inspite of the fact that the timing was preponed, it seemed as if everyone expected it. Some of them raised slogans to hail him but he never approved of it. For him the nation was always greater than any individual. The guard accompanying him was surprised by the huge confident strides he made as if he were going collect some reward. Of course it was a reward for him and his patriotism. As he often used to quote "It is easy to kill individuals but you cannot kill the ideas ". He was confident that his ideas would remain immortal.

He had never believed in caste. In fact in his colonies all the caste people lived together in harmony...until any riots took place. They all looked different people. The hands that distributed sweets on their respective festivals were now wielding guns and weapons to kill each another. At the age of 14 it was a hard truth for him to digest and understand. In fact even after these years he could not understand the real reason. It just reminded him that behind the facade of every ordinary man lay a savage who could go to any limits when provoked. Even this useless bandh was targeting the same emotions. Half of the protestors shouting on the streets didn’t even understand the real divide it would cause if the reservations were made for one strata of people. Then another group would ask for a share....then another group....and it would go on to break the country into a million little pieces.

Everyone thought that he would walk away from the scene of crime or run away from the jail, but he didn’t. He survived 63 days of hunger strike in prison, the British officer’s wrath and merciless beating but his fight won equal rights for Indian prisoners. There were protests condemning the British's decision to hang him, but that was not what he wanted. He wanted thousands of young men to up rise when he went down. He chose to die young and be inspiring rather than die old and having lived as just-someone. He saw his two friends join him and they were also smiling at him. How fortunate he was to have found such like minded friends? He used to say that dying in their company was an honor in itself. He looked proudly at the officer who was astonished with his resolve and pride.

There should be reservation based the economic strata instead of caste and religion. But then...who would bell the cat? Well....they opened some of the shops and broke the glasses. Some vehicles standing outside were burnt. Mission accomplished. Sometimes he questioned his conscience about rights and wrongs. He used to watch movies and laugh when the bad guys lost in the end to the good ones. It happened rarely. If that was the case then why were there communal fights? Why almost all the 500 odd MPs were corrupt to the core? Why a peon in the Government office demanded Rs 20 bribe for even the simplest query? Reality Bites. He walked towards his home when he heard the siren far away. As he ran, he saw a poster of a guy with the words Shaheed printed in bold. He didn’t bother to find out what his name was. He was looking forward to collect his remaining 5000 Rs on the next day.

What would a person facing death think about? About his family? Loved ones? Friends? Sweetheart? Happy Memories? He thought about his parents but didn’t shed any tears for them. They would not be bereaved but proud of him. His last thoughts were about his country. He dreamt of a country where one person's joy would be distributed as smiles among all and their sorrows would be divided in small drops of tears. He dreamt of a country which would be the shrine of peace and unity. He dreamt of a country where tradition and innovation would walk hand-in-hand. He dreamt of a country where the youth would resent against any injustice. With these thoughts he closed his eyes and thought about his mother...and motherland. Proudly he kissed the hangman's noose as if it was a garland and shouted for the last time his favorite cry, "Down with British imperialism...Bharath Maata ki Jai."

They thought that they killed him as he was hanged to death. Wrong. Just go and check yourself in the mirror. You can see his legacy in your eyes....in the freedom that you enjoy. As Shaheed Bhagath Singh said "It is easy to kill individuals but you cannot kill the ideas". Amen.

SMILE please

Once upon a time there was a little girl standing near a sea shore. She was trying to throw back the star fishes back to sea. An old man who passed by asked the little girl "Stupid Girl. How many can you save by doing this?"
The little girl looked at him and replied "I may not save all of them...but I can save this one.. "
and saying this she throws one back to sea and picks another one and says "and this one....."

We all have come across malnourished kids in the traffic signal, in slums, the maiden’s kid and in so many places. And most probably we think "Wish I could do something to help this kid out of this mess". But...we don’t know how to do it.

What Social Service is all about?
Social Service is a very misconstrued word in our lingo. Most of the people imagine that one needs to dedicate one self totally to a cause and abstain from normal life and become a super human. The truth is that all one needs is a deep hearted desire and a little bit of time management.

What is SMILE?
SMILE was formed by 20 members on the shores of Besant nagar beach on April 04, 2004 with a desire to bring SMILE to as many faces as possible. What started as 20 member team grew to 100 members by 2005 and we registered as it as SMILE WELFARE FOUNDATION. By 2006 we managed to get 80G Tax exemption status for contributions made to SMILE. Today SMILE is about 400 member strong organization with members functioning in Chennai, Bangalore and some other parts of the country.

What does SMILE do?
Most of the people who are reading this post must be from the Middle class. We know the value of each and every rupee and are thankful for every morsel of food. But have we thought about people who toil to make ends meet each and every other day and for whom childhood is mostly about watching the smallest joys of crackers, new clothes, sweets and savories and toys in the hands of the neighboring kids from affluent families. The basic aim of SMILE is to restore SMILE to such kids and educate them for a better tomorrow. Since 2004, we at SMILE searched for destitute homes which are without much support and which have been struggling to sustain to exist.

The various projects undertaken in SMILE are as below
Project Sadhana - Educational loan at 0% for students from low income group to pursue their education. We receive requests from SMILE members and news papers as Dinamani and Indian express
Project Atchaya - Supporting destitute homes and support them in their financial, infrastructural and educational needs.
Project Punnagai Pallam - Teams will be formed for each home which will assist them in their education and help them grow as better individuals.
Project Aripta - To help victims in event of any natural calamity.

SMILE has been supporting NGO's as SUYAM , Annai Sathiya Destitute home for kids in Waltex Road in Chennai, Home at Kosapet, GLC in Tambaram. Some of the SMILE members have been also teaching the kids basic Maths, Science and English to those kids. SMILE provided water purifiers and some basic amenities to homes under the Atchaya project. Also under Sadhana Project we have been supporting educational expenses of around 70 people by providing them with loans at 0% interest.



Why SMILE?
SMILE is run by individuals who are working full time in various organizations with a desire to make a change in the society. Every member of SMILE is encouraged to contribute in any way that he/she wants. You can contribute any amount of your choice every month to SMILE. All contributions made to SMILE are tax exempted under 80G status. You can contribute one time for any special occasions as Birthday or Anniversary. You can visit the destitute homes and spend your precious time with the kids and help them to smile. SMILE has a very transparent structure wherein all contributions made and expenditures incurred are mailed in a spreadsheet to all the members of SMILE.

What can I do?
If I could tell you about the dedication of my friends Guna, Gopi, Rajesh, Dinesh and Latha, I could talk for hours and hours about each of them. There is common misconception that we cannot balance our work life and help others. I often wondered how my dear friend Nandoo was able to manage both successfully. Once when I asked the same, he shot back "What we do here at SMILE is not very great. It is our responsibility. We received all our moral support from parents, relatives, school, and friends. SMILE is a platform to pay back what we have got to the society."

You could be a working professional or a college student who has a desire to do something soul satisfying...an opportunity where all we crave for is not money, but a word for appreciation.....just a smile. There must be some 10th or 12th standard kid near your house who has no one to advice them regarding their career and feels lost. Just hear their aspirations and guide them, or buy them notebook, or a pen as a good luck for their exams and say that you will pray for their success in the exams. You would be first person they would show their mark sheets to after their parents…..and in that moment you will feel an unexplainable joy and elation.

Just spare one weekend and visit some kids at a destitute home and you don’t even need to buy them sweets or chocolates. All they need is your love and affection and an hour or 2 of your precious time. Trust me...once you surrender to their smile and their affection and calls of Anna or akka....you will crave for more. Try this for one weekend and you will thank me for your life.

Why especially now mention SMILE?
On April 1, 2007 we at SMILE are celebrating our 3rd anniversary at Kumari Meena Muthayya College in Chennai. Check the poster for more details. If you want to be a part of this revolution please mail me at harishcn@gmail.com or go here and click the link JOIN SMILE. To know more about SMILE, click here .

As Mahatma Gandhi told "You must be the change you want to see in the world". Let us be the change and let us help a few more lives to SMILE.

Dead Man Walking

The 8X8 cell room looked crooked enough for 2 people. There was a washbasin, a toilet, a poster of Jesus in the small room. He was crying for the past one hour. Not that I would blame him. Even I would have done the same if I knew that I had just few hours to live my life.

He looked at my name badge which proudly read Srg. Frank Darabont and smirked. I could understand his emotions and didn’t know how I would console him in his last hours. In a few hours from now he would be seated on a chair and crowned with an electrode and be made to fall asleep...forever. As his last wish, we played him a movie yesterday and today I brought tuna chicken from my home for dinner. He ate it for almost half an hour and relished each bite as if he was trying to delay the inevitable. It was a practice to stay all night along and comfort the dying man and talk to him....just talk.

"What were your happy moments Steve?" I asked him.
"The days I spent with my wife, Sir. I still remember the day after our marriage. We went to an island and walked on the beach looking back at our footsteps on sand as they were washed by the incoming waves. She held my hand tight when one huge wave pulled her and as I took her in my arms she gave me a love full look that I will remember forever." As he said this his voice broke.
I could hardly reply. I had known John for these 7 months in jail very well even though I was introduced to him some time before as a colleague of my son.
"Did you like the dinner Steve?"
"Yes Sir. It was very delicious. How much more time do we have Sir?"
"6 more hours."
"Sir. Is my wife coming tomorrow? Please don’t let her in. She loves me a lot. I know how hard she fought for my case to be proved not guilty. I don’t want to see her sobbing. Her memories of smiling face would do." He cried as he said that.
"Why did you do it then?"
"I didn’t Sir. I kept telling that at the court. All evidence was against me. I didn’t kill the manager. Agreed that we all employees were against him and the peace talks didn’t help during the strike. Of course we had tensions in between. But I aint the murdering type."
"Your finger prints were on the gun and in the scene of crime. It’s ok. You can admit it to me."
"Sir. I respect you a lot. Why would I lie when all I have is only a few hours to live?"
We remained silent for sometime. I asked him to sleep for a few hours and he obliged unwillingly.

As the clock ticked 6.30 A.M, the guards arrived at his cell and a doctor did his medical checkup. We escorted him to the room where the electric chair was placed and he was seated there. The murdered guy’s family had come to witness the process. Sometimes I feel that it is too inhuman to watch a person die in front of your eyes, but then they are the bereaved family and this was revenge in their perspective. I had to read the rights to the dying man.

His face was covered with a black cloth. A sponge was dipped in water and placed on his head and then an electrode was placed above it to transfer the current to the body directly.

"Stephen Callaway. Electricity will now be passed through your body till your death in accordance with the state law. May the lord have mercy on your soul."
All the guards and I said "Amen" in unison. As the seconds hand ticked to 12, current was passed and he whimpered and his body shook heavily. Few minutes later he made no movement and the doctor confirmed his death.Tears flowed from my eyes as I saw Steve's dead body. I had mixed emotions as I felt both happy and sad.

I was happy because someone else had now died for a murder that my son had committed in a rage of anger. I was sad because in an attempt to save one of my own, I had now blood in my hands of an innocent man. May the lord have mercy on me.

Veerasamy Returns

What do you do when you are depressed? Listen to music? Watch comedy movies? Read inspirational books? Throw all the Zig Ziglars, Robin Sharma, and Jack Welch out of your bedroom and get ready to brace the new hero in town. It’s none other than our own - Vijaya T Rajendhar. One look at this movie poster is enough and you will know what I am talking about.

TR is a do-gooder MLA (but one who makes such movies). One would never understand why would this movie need comedians like Santhanam, Madam Bob, Bhaskar etc when you have TR himself doing it in every frame of the movie. As in all TRs movie there is a sister whom he needlessly tortures with "Thangacheeeeeeee" which in itself would have driven any sane girl out of the house years before. One look at the sister and TR and you wonder why no one filed a paternity suit with their parents in the movie.

As usual the hardest task of falling in love and looking at him in close up is entrusted to Mumtaz and for that achievement in itself she deserves the Oscar for the Best Actress. Of course she is already being nominated for sleeping over TR's poster and singing a song with loads of milk poured in a huge Jacuzzi AND romancing him.

There is a certain character in the movie you see and before you end your debate in our mind if it is a guy or a gal, then call him "maama", "machchan". "vaada", "poda" to remind you that he is certainly a guy. In effect he looks like someone who just escaped his sex change operation and landed a role in this movie. God knows what poverty on earth forced Meghna Naidu to accept this movie.

When one gets to see her and TR's sister fight over that second "hero", any average looking guy is bound to wonder why he is not being chased by truck load of girls on Ranganathan Street in Chennai. The audience is given one chance of reprieve in the intervals and all the 11 songs which in effect means about 85% of the movie.

TR is the only person in India who manages to match ShahRukh Khan. No no....dont get any ideas. Because he is the only other hero who manages to cry bucketful of tears and cries at the mere drop of a hat. Arvind Mills has decided to relaunch its free size jeans with TR as its Brand ambassador. Also he wears everything from T Shirt, colourfull shirts, Munda baniyan, Sherwani to show how "Youth" full he is.



RMKV has already reported a net loss in the sales of Sherwanis this month after the posters of TR wearing Sherwani were released recently. The scene where TR cries and thumps walking on the stairs without collapsing them have now been chosen by Shankar cements to show their products supreme strength and durability. There is no story in the movie as TR's son used that paper over which the plot was written to clean his shit when they ran out of toilet paper in their house.

As a good samaritan I have nominated fellow blogger friends Praveen and Gopal for the Presidents Bravery medal for watching this movie in Theater, surviving it and saving countless lives with their reviews. Buoyed by the success of Veerasamy (!), TR has announced his next project to yours truly along with the secret poster which will be released like anthrax throughout the world.

He features in a double role with one being a role where TR has decided to unleash his youthful look in this movie. The Photographer who shot TR without his beard and mustache passed away after witnessing the first print. Try to survive this when it gets released in theaters.

How to Name it

The stage was set. He looked at his backyard and wondered the consequences should he go ahead with what he had planned to do. It could either be his best or turn to be the most disastrous idea ever implemented.

He mentally drafted a list of items he would need to prepare his latest recipe. He looked at his last recipe and wondered what went wrong with it. It was a very good draft and he was happy when he looked at it at that time. But there was something missing in it and that is why he needed to prepare this new recipe. Of course it would take him a lot of effort and time to finish it with perfection, but a consummate artist of perfection that he was, he wanted this one to be his best.

He looked at the various ingredients on his shelf marked as sugar, salt, spicy and so on. What should the final taste be like? He started with salt and some spice. Of course he was not sure that the amount of spice would remain the same every time he would prepare the recipe, but the final output should definitely be sweet. He baked it more tender unlike his previous recipe which mostly would either be half baked or burnt or hard at edges and so on. He wondered if he should make it more appealing to the eye or just tasty enough. But he decided that irrespective of the shape and design, what mattered most was the taste of the recipe.

Ahhh...there it was. Nice, tender, sweet and wonderful. Boy...he was one amazing artist, aint he? He knew that this recipe might create a furor in his world. People would go crazy, fight over it, maybe even a war or two might happen, it could lead to jealousy and mayhem. He wondered if it would spoil the balance. But then he realized something. His recipe had the supreme power of recreating itself. Out of love for his creation, he had bestowed upon it his supreme power of creation and that he wondered should make this his most wonderful product ever made. He looked and wondered what he should call it. It was certainly better than his previous creation although this fact would not be accepted by one and all.

And that is how God created her....and named her WOMAN.

P.S: Belated happy Women’s Day
P.S1: I would never understand why Women’s day and Valentines day need to be celebrated when one can be happy to be a woman or fall in love on any day of the year :-)

Life is Beautiful

The Chicago O’Hare Airport was crowded. But then it always remained crowded. Ashok ran along the airport corridor with his mom who was sprinting hard enough to suggest any possible participation in the next year's Olympics dash. For the past one hour she had been asking him just one question "Where is dad?"

Wish he could answer. His father had gone to meet his uncle in the nearby town. Mom didn’t join him because of family feud which occurred long before between the ladies of the household. Such a small world and still people hold grudges thought Ashok. But then he was not perfect either. He had fought with their neighbor’s kid Anthony when he was 8 years old and they both had not talked since for almost 15 years. Small world eh?

With the announcement of a hailstorm and rough weather mom was worried and Ashok was not sure how he could answer her worries. He had tried calling them to their house and their cell phone, but both seemed disrupted. After a month of vacation and roaming around, it was time to bid adieu to U.S and Ashok didn’t want it to end on a soar note. Ashok tried to relax himself by looking around the airport. It had never failed to mesmerize him. It was a very huge airport and was one of the busiest airport in the world. One could see people of all races, colors and sizes in the airport.

He remembered the Globe skeleton and flags of various countries in terminal 3. What surprised him was the presence of a dinosaur replica in that that terminal. Why would one have a dinosaur in an airport, he wondered? He was thrilled to walk on the running walk and almost tripped at the end of it. He wanted to walk/run on it again, but curbed his enthusiasm. In the checking section he was strip checked and cleared. He felt funny when he saw a 5 year old kid raising his arms like a vitruvian man and being checked for bombs. Welcome to the land of national security son.

The first time when Ashok landed in Chicago he was hungry and wanted to eat something. He exchanged the 500 Rs he had and they repaid him with a measly amount of 11 dollars odd. For another 500 Rs he could have a Sarkaari Babu make him prepare a ration card stating Amitabh as his dad, Hemamalini as his mom and Vidhya Balan as his wife. Perhaps that was the only time when he hated the exchange rate. He was hungry and looking for something to eat. That damn pizza slice alone cost about 6 dollars which was almost 180 Rs. Bloody middle class conscience won’t let him have it initially. But the war between stomach and logic has always been won hands down by stomach. Now he drinks coffee daily twice in Dunkin Donuts, buys Stafford shirt worth 40$, watches movies in IMAX for 13$ and has a watch of 120$(original price concealed from his mom).

"Ashok, Do something" yelled his mom.
Ashok tried calling his uncle's mobile and it was still busy. The blizzard had added to her anxiety and fear. His mother was close to tears and it was for the first time Ashok had seen his mom in such a predicament. 10 minutes later he found his father with a bandage on his head and limping with his uncle near him. As soon as his mom saw him, she ran and hugged him and cried in front of thousands of people. His uncle told him that his father had slipped on stairs and was hurt mildly. Ashok heaved a sigh of relief and walked towards his parents with their boarding tickets.

It was then that he remembered something and stopped midway through. For the first time in 28 years of his life, he was seeing his parents embrace each other in front of his very eyes. He smiled and as an ad buff he tried to picture something like this
Chocolates and Sweets - 149$
Cab fare - 48$
Tickets to India - 1800$
Witnessing a kodak moment......priceless

Tag on Fire

Tagged by Gayatri. If I postpone this tag any further, the taggers association threatened to sue me for millions of dollars. So...here it comes.

Favorite Color: Blue and Black

Favorite Food: Anything prepared by my mom. I don’t throw tantrums for food :-).

Favorite Month: May

Favorite Songs:

Hindi: Pal Pal Dil ke pass from Black Mail

Tamil: Too many to name. Hmmmm...currently En iniya pon nilaave and How to Name it.

English: Summer of 69

Favorite Movie: Too many. To name a few Life is Beautiful in tragedy, Shawshank Redemption for hope, Face/Off for action, Panchatantiram and Golmaal for comedy, Sleepless for suspense.

Favorite Sport: As most of my fellow indians. Cricket :-)

Favorite Season: Summer.

Favorite Day Of the week: Friday

Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Strawberry

Favorite Time of Day: Anytime after 11 PM. I am a nocturnal animal :-)

8 CURRENTS

Current Mood: Highly bored and supremely depressed :-(

Current Taste: Sour

Current Clothes: Jockey Baniyan and Athletic works shorts

Current Desktop: The charming Tamanna Bhatia. (sigh)

Current Toenail Color: ?

Current Time: 15.04 EST

Current Surroundings: A pillow, a comforter in a yucky bachelor room. I am tired of cleaning this mess up :-(

Current Thoughts: What should be the next story to follow this post?

6 FIRSTS

First Best Friend: Neeraj Goel in First standard.

First Screen Name: hurry2harish. I still have it :-)

First Pet: Can I name my brother :-)

First Piercing: Ears. My parents dragged me to the Tirunelveli temple as an infant and pierced. Ketta "Vera yaarum unakku kaadu kootida koodadu nu daan naangale unakku kaadu kuttitom". Devuda :-)

First Album: My parents marraige album (freeya vidunga). After seeing my cousins pic whch slightly resembled me I asked my mom "How come I was at your wedding and I dont remember it?"

First Movie: My mom says it was a movie called "Thoongaade Thambi Thoongade". I cried for sometime and became silent for the song "Naanaga Naan illai Thaaye". :-)

6 LASTS

Last Cigarette: First and last puff on Jan 1, 2005. Tried it just for fun :-)

Last Drink: Alcoholic: One sip of beer on the same day. Uweeekkkk. How do you ppl drink it? :-)
Non-alcoholic: A hot chocolate coffee.

Last Car Ride: Today.

Last Movie Seen: Charlie Chaplin's The Great Dictator. I loved the movie.

Last Phone Call: With my roommate. Six minutes ago.

Last Book Read: Don’t remember. Been long since I finished a book in one go.

Have You Ever Broken the Law: Tried to do one recently. But couldn’t do it out of guilt :-(

Have You Ever Been Arrested: Not yet.

Have You Ever Been on TV: Some thing better. I was in a short film we made for SMILE and it was played on an auditorium screen in front of some 400 people. Boy..it was embarrassing to watch myself :-)

Have You Ever Lied: Nope. (And increased my count by one)

Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: Lemme think. Hmmmm....No. I always ask the name of the kids before kissing them :-)

5 THINGS

Thing You're Wearing: How many time I have to answer this :-(

Thing You've Done Today: Got drenched in rain on the way to home.

Thing You Can Hear Right Now: Nenjam Ellam kaadal from Aayudaezhutu.

Thing You Can't Live Without: Friends, Movies, Books, Music.

Thing You Do When You're Bored: If my laptop is available, I open browser and check any news.

4 PLACES YOU'VE BEEN TODAY : DMV office, downtown, bus Stop, Dunkin Donuts.

3 PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO : Wont name them. Then it doesn’t remain a secret :-)

2 CHOICES

1. Black or White: Black

2. Hot or Cold: In India Cold. Here Hot.

1 THING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
I believe actions speak stronger than words. So...its something that I will do and then say. :-)

Since tags can be monotonous, to spice things up check this video from the movie Music and Lyrics. (Thanks Sat)



Tagged by KK. Enna maamu...sema easy aana tag a kodututa :-)

Here is what I am supposed to do...
1. Grab the closest book.
2. Open to page 123, go down to the fifth sentence.
3. Post the text of next 3 sentences on the blog. (enakkum onnum puriyala :-()
4. Put in also the name of the book and its author.
5. Tag three people

"I dont know" Jeremy confessed.
After a brief pause, Alvin said "Again, I dont know what to tell you".
"What do you think it means? why is someone sending me e-mails like this?"

Author: Nicholas Sparks
Book: At first Sight
As my usual rule...I don't tag anyone :-)

Hollywood Calling

By our special Correspondent-
At a time Hollywood has been plagued by rising budget costs, shooting salaries of superstars and Box office duds, it has discovered an unnaturally odd and cost effective ally in one movie industry - Kollywood (a small part in Southern India).

Recently few of the top Hollywood producers were alarmed when they discovered that their worst movies like Van Helsing, Epic Movie, and Son of mask were being replaced by movies from Kollywood. These worst movies were often being used by the American soldiers in the Afghanistan war where they showed them to terrorists as a means of non violent torture and to extract information. When someone suggested a few movies of some Kollywood stars the authorities discovered that the response time to extract information had become faster than before.

Unnamed sources confirmed that as of now 3 movies had been used predominantly in the torture camps. The maximum time a prisoner sustained was when he survived a full onslaught of Vijaykanth's Narasimha. The third movie lined up was Ajith's Aalwar but it was not used as the inmate succumbed halfway through T Rajendar's Veerasamy in the scene where Rajendar and Mumtaz try to make love in a bath tub filled with half liter milk. Apparently it was discovered that he had an aversion to animal porn and so he succumbed on witnessing that gruesome scene.

Sensing the potential of these stars, Hollywood has offered these stars a range of choices. Vijayakanth or Captain as he has been called for unknown reasons was offered a remake of THE HULK. But since Marvel's Stan Lee suffered mild attack after seeing the trailer of Sudesi, the idea has been changed and a remake titled BULK has been commissioned coinciding with the Actors huge stature. The changes made have been that instead of Green the monster will be black (CGI costs cut) and the location will be Chennai. Since no CGI will be used, the character of Dr Bruce banner has been omitted from the script. Sudarmani Jetty, a top brand of free size undergarments is endorsing the movie (see poster up close for more details)

Another Hollywood producer who was impressed by Vijayakanth's Kick ass action was the Paramount chief. Under huge pressure to continue the Mission Impossible series without Tom Cruise, he was impressed and immediately gave a go ahead for MI-4. It has been rumored to be a remake of VijayaKanth's earlier hit Narasimha. Fearing him to be the next target, 007 Daniel Craig has renewed his contract with Sony MGM for another 4 movies with huge salary cuts before any of the Sony bosses chanced to see Vijaykanth's action flick.

Another notable actor in this race is a 'bear'ly look able Vijaya T Rajendhar. He has been operating as a one-man industry for the past 20 years by serving as Director to Janitor in all his movies. Halfway through a sneak preview of his latest blockbuster Veerasamy, Universal bosses understood his potential and have booked him to remake a new cost effective version of KingKong titled as Ding Dong. Universal bosses appear very happy with TR and are angry that Peter Jackson (the original director of KingKong) failed to identify him and instead wasted millions of dollars creating a fake animal when they had one in heir midst.

Since the original heroine Naomi watts seemed scared of real bears, TR opted for his first (and only) choice in bombshell Mumtaz. The only concern of producers on seeing her was that the costume costs may sky rocket as they would have to kill millions of cocoons for her wardrobe, but TR assured them of her 'best' performance in the movie. Animal Planet, WWF and national geographic have come forward as strategic partners for this movie.

The Love Letter

My Dearest Darling V

I had the choice of giving you flowers or greeting cards or bouquet...but don't know why I chose to write a love letter to you instead.

I am not a poet and so I cannot write sonnets embellishing your beauty. I am not an eloquent writer and so cannot compare you to moon, sea or stars. But there is something special I have which a poet or a writer cannot express for you....my true love for you from my heart.

Do you remember the first time we met? It was at a party and one of our friends introduced us. By some sheer magic my first words uttered to you were "Where are your wings? I thought angels carried them all along wherever they went." I still don't know how did I say that, but it worked. All I remembered about you that day was that you laughed beautifully to all my stupid jokes and anecdotes. Truthfully most of them were copied from Woody Allen's stand up act video I saw somewhere. I told this to you only years later fearing that you would reject me as unoriginal.

It took me six months and eight days to realize that I had been suffering from your love and the only potion that could save me was your acceptance to marry me. 3 days and 121 drafts later I managed to write a love letter to you explaining why you could marry me and still be happy. I had not even been nervous for my grade exams than I was when I waited for your response to the letter. It seemed as if that day the hands of clock refused to move apart and as if I was in a time warp. I must have opened my mail box once in every five minutes and kept looking at my phone as if my life depended on it...and yes it did. Thank god, you saved me. The moment you said yes, I yelled loud enough to be heard from the other side of the Atlantic.

I thought that perfect marriage existed only in romantic novels...until we had one. Each day was wonderful waking up looking at you. Some people tell that marriage is boring because the sheer prospect of waking up to see the same face near day after day is horrifying. Unlucky chaps...they were not married to someone as wonderful you. I loved those wrinkles under your eyes even though you hated it. Do you remember how you cried when you lost my birthday present in the shop and couldn't surprise me? Why would I need a gift when I had you for me?

But it all crash landed one day when we discovered that you were suffering from Brain Tumor. I thought that I loved you more than anyone, but seemed that even the gods loved you a lot. Being a mortal I hardly stood a chance fighting them. The hardest thing is living in the fear of death of someone you love more than your life. By sheer misfortune I could not share your pain and instead watch you suffer from it. Five months later the gods summoned you and snatched you away from my possession.

They say that life has to move on. Maybe it does. People ask me if I remember you often. You have to forget something to remember it back. So I guess it doesn't apply to me. As I write this, I am at the same place in the beach where you asked me "How much do you love me?".

I will never understand why women need to be reassured of the vows of love. But as a well read man I answered something that I read somewhere "I love you more than you love yourself."

Your loving husband
J

He rolled the letter and inserted it inside the bottle and threw it far into the waters. Sometimes people say that he is a mad man...but does it matter to him?

P.S: Inspired from the movie Message in a Bottle

Love Actually

"So, Is this your first trip to a temple in the US?" asked his Manager driving the car and trying to make a conversation. But he was hardly listening and seemed lost in a world of his own. He was still upset over the whole episode with her and it seemed to him as if he was complicating matters for himself. When his Manager offered a ride to the Satyanarayanan Temple in Middletown he obliged just to escape from himself.

The problem with most of Indians is that we fail to draw a fine line between our professional and personal lives. We call our girlfriend, husband, Mom, friend in our office time and prepare documents, test plans, discuss appraisals at home. Then we end up screwing both professional and personal lives and end up dissatisfied. Two days before had finished a client presentation and was awaiting the result and it turned negative. He was in a foul mood and it was then that she called. He blasted his anger over her and switched over his mobile. The easiest thing for anyone of us is to release our anger on our near and dear ones as we take them for granted and he had done the same. It had been 2 days since and he had not called her and neither returned her calls a day before.

They parked their car outside in the parking lot which had lot of Honda's, Toyota's and Nissan's which suggested the abundance presence of Indian fraternity inside the temple. The Middletown Satyanarayanan temple looked beautiful. It had a traditional Hindu construction with a Dravidian styled stepped pyramid structure. As they left their footwear before in the corridor he noticed a sign which read "Visa/Master card accepted for donations". Seems that God had got wind of the fact that people produce counterfeit money and so now had decided to rely on advanced technology.

God it was nice to see someone clad in Churidar and Saree. In the beginning he had enjoyed the sight of women dressed in short skirts and tops and whatsoever, but as days progressed he realized that he yearned to see someone in traditional Indian dress and seems as if today his prayers were answered. Although when he looked at one women he got reminded of her. He was reminded how he used to go around the temple in his neighborhood holding his hand in hers. He moved forward and looked at the marble murthi of Radhe Krishna. Born and brought up in a south Indian environment he grew up to stone structures of gods and the marble one reminded him of the Marwadi temple in his neighborhood.

There was a sign which read "Cell Phones should not be used here" although a gentleman on his left was praying with a blue tooth device attached. Everyone around was praying something while he seemed lost in her thoughts. If there was bell outside God's premises for prayers, maybe it was ringing damn loud now. The children seemed unaware of this and were running around playing hide and seek. One child was whispering something in Nandhi's ear which reminded him of the same thing he did when he was studying in 3rd standard about a passmark in the Maths paper. Eventually he failed and cursed god for sometime about that.

Just then a women started to sing Vaishnava Janato and the whole atmosphere changed. There was something divine in her voice which made him break into a million pieces. He realized that his ego walls stood nowhere near his strong love for her. That was all that he could hold on to and he walked out of the temple and dialed the only number he remembered by heart. He said "Ma, Will you sing Vaishnava Janato for me?"

8000 odd miles and 10 and half hours apart his mother had no idea for her son's sudden urge of viewers request. But as all moms do, she willfully obliged.

Halfway through the song, he was close to tears and confessed "Ma, did I tell you that I love you more than anything else on earth?"

Her reply was simple and sweet "You need not son".

என்னலே பாக்க !

முதல்ல என் அப்பாவுக்கு தூத்தூக்குடிக்கு மாற்றல் சொன்னப்ப நான் "அது என்ன சாத்துக்குடி மாதிரி தூத்தூக்குடி"னு கேட்டேன். உண்மைல அந்த ஊருக்கு ஊத்திக்குடினு பேரு வெச்சிருக்கனும். எனக்கு ஞாபகம் இருந்து என் வீடு பக்கதிலே ரெண்டு மதுபானக் கடை இருந்துச்சு. கலாம் நாம எல்லரும் நல்ல குடிமகனா இருக்கனும்னு சொன்னதை எத்தனை பேரு தப்பா புரிஞ்சு வெச்சிருக்காங்கன்னு அப்பத்தான் தெரிஞ்சுது.

தென் தமிழ்நட்டுக்கு முதல்ல வந்தப்ப அந்தப் பேச்சுவழக்கு ஒரு எழவும் விளங்கலை. 'என்னலே நிக்க', 'என்னலே பாக்க'னு அவங்க பேசறதைக் கேட்டு என் தம்பி என்கிட்ட "ஏன்டா இந்தப் பசங்க வார்த்தைல பாதியை முழுங்கிட்டானுங்க"னு கேட்டான. அந்த 'எலேய்'ங்கறதை ஒரு ராகமா அவங்க சொல்றதே அழகா இருக்கும். தூத்துக்குடி பக்கதிலேயே திருச்செந்தூர், சந்கரன்கோயில்லாம் இருந்ததுனால என் அப்பா அம்மா வாரத்துக்கு ஒரு தடவை ஏதாவது ஒரு கோவிலுக்கு போவாங்க. என் தம்பி சாதுவாக் கூடக் கிளம்புவான். நாம தான் கோயிலுக்கு சுண்டல் சாப்பிட மட்டுமே போற கோஷ்டி ஆச்சே; அதனால வீட்டுலயே இருப்பேன் ('ஹூம்... நீ எல்லாம் என் பிள்ளை'னு என் அம்மா அடிக்கடி சலிச்சுகுக்குவாங்க! :().

நான் கவனித்த வரைக்கும் தென் தமிழநாட்டுல சாதிப் பாகுபாடு கொஞ்சம் ஜாஸ்தி. புதுசா ஒரு தெருவுல குடி போனப்போ கடைக்கு ஏதோ வாங்கப் போனேன். மளிகைக் கடை அண்ணாச்சி என்கிட்ட "தம்பி, நீங்க அந்த சாதியா"னு ஒரு சாதி பிரிவு பேரைச் சொல்லி கேட்டாரு. ஆகா...கெளம்பிட்டாங்கடா... அருவாளை எங்க மாப்ளே ஒளிச்சு வெச்சிருக்க? ஸ்டாண்ட் (முதுகுதான்!) ல வெச்சிருக்கியாப்பா? ஆளைப் பார்த்தா பத்துக் கொலை பண்ணிட்டு பதினொனாவது பண்ண பான்பராக் கேப்பான் போல இருந்தான்!. அது ஏங்கண்ணா அந்த மயில் மார்க் இல்ல குயில் மார்க் பேரு போட்ட முண்டா பனியன் மட்டுமே போடுறீங்க? இன்னும் அந்த உடைக்கு யாருமே காப்புரிமை வாங்கலைங்கரதும் ஆச்சரியம் தான்.

என்ன தான் சொன்னாலும் அவங்க வியாபார தந்திரம் யாருக்கும் வராது. சென்னைலியே பார்த்தீங்கன்னா பெரிய கடைகள் எல்லாமே தென்னகத்துலேந்து வந்தவங்களாத்தான் வெச்சிருப்பாங்க. உழைப்புக்கு சலிக்காத அந்த மாதிரி மக்களைப் பார்க்கும்போது வியப்பா இருக்கும். கல்லூரில படிக்கும்போது பசங்க திருநெல்வேலி அல்வா வாங்கிட்டு வந்தாத்தான் ரூம்குள்ளேயே விடுவாங்க. அல்வா வாங்கலைனு சொல்லி அல்வா கொடுக்க பார்த்தா தர்ம அடிதான். அந்த இருட்டுக்கடை அல்வாவின் சுவையை எதனாலயும் ஈடு செய்ய முடியாது (நினைக்கும்போதே நாக்கு சப்பு கொட்டுது!).

ஒரு கல்யாணத்துக்கு அங்க போனபோது எனக்கு கொஞ்சம் பயமா இருந்துச்சு. ஏன்னா அங்க வந்திருந்த பெண்கள் கழுத்திலையும் அவ்வளவு நகை! (உடன்பிறவா சகோதரி அளவுக்குனா பார்த்துக்கோங்க!). இப்போ நீங்க கேட்கலாம் ஏன்டா என்னமோ உன் தாத்தா வீட்டு சொத்து பறி போகற மாதிரி பிட்டைப் போடறியேன்னு. எல்லாம் ஒரு நல்ல எண்ணம் தான். இப்படி கழுத்து நிறைய நகை போட்டுகிட்டு திரிஞ்சாங்கன்னா அப்புறம் திருடன் வந்து திருடாம பின்ன என்ன "உங்க் நகைகள் அருமை"னு வாழ்த்து மடலா அனுப்புவான்?

அந்த ஊருல இருந்த ஒரு கல்லூரி எனக்கு ரொம்ப பிடிக்கும். என்னா அங்க வகுப்புகள் நடந்ததா எனக்கு தெரியல (என்னமோ நடத்தினப்ப மட்டும் படிச்சு கிழிச்ச மாதிரி). அங்க படிச்ச ஒரு பையன் என் வீடு பக்கத்துல இருந்தான். அவனை சட்டை பேண்டில பார்த்ததை விட லுங்கி பணியன் ல அதிகமா பார்த்தாதா தான் ஞாபகம். எப்ப கேட்டாலும் ஸ்ட்ரைக் னு சொல்லுவான். கடைசியா சதாம் மை தூக்கிலிட்டததுக்கும் அவங்க ஸ்ட்ரைக் பண்ணினதா படிச்சதா ஞாபகம்.

என்ன தான் Dude, Yo Wassup னு பிட்டைப் போட்டாலும் அந்த 'எலேய்' ல இருந்த ஒரு அன்நியோனியாமும் நெருக்கமும் நட்பும் ஈடு செய்ய முடியாதது. எலேய் என்னலே பாக்க? போய் பின்னூட்டம் போடுலே!

50 Questions

Heidi tagged me. I guess after PGDBA and dot net certification this is first time I am attempting something that has 50 questions to be answered. By the time I started and finished I believe that even James Cameron had started his next movie :-)

1. Were you named after anyone?
Yes. After my Great Grandpa Mr HariHaran.

2. Do you wish on stars?
Used to when I was a kid. Innocence lost :-(

3. When did you last cry?
April 28, 2003 when I left my college and friends. Adukku munnadi Dec 02, 1998. I cry rarely and so I remember them :-(.

4. Do you like your handwriting?
At least I used to. I used to write on my college blackboard. Now it has been reduced to chicken scratches.

5. What is your favorite meat?
Wrong Question. I am a veggie :)

6. What is your most embarrassing CD on your shelf?
ASP.Net and C#.

7. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you?
Absolutely yes.

8.Are you a daredevil?
Yes. I love trying new things and I do not regret after a failure.

9. How do you release anger?
I used to shout and my tone would become sarcastic. Nowadays I walk away from anything that angers me. Usually the best remedy is listening to music.

10. Where is your second home?
First and second is the world ;). I have been a globe trotter with no fixed place.

11. Do you trust others easily?
Fortunately or Unfortunately Yes.

12. What was your favorite toy as a child?
My Atlas cycle.

13. What class in school/college do you think is totally useless?
The periods from 9 AM to 5 PM. :-)

14. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
At times yes.

15. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?
Nope.

16.What do you look for in a guy/(gal)?
Attitude and sense of humor.

17. Would you bungee jump?
Of course what makes you think I wont.

18. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
I am the laziest creature on earth. I bought a lace less shoe just because I hate tying laces ;)

19.what's your favorite ice cream?
There is nothing as favorite. Whenever I go to Ice cream shops I select the weirdest sounding ones and try them.

20. What are your favorite colors?
Blue and Black.

21. What are your least favorite things?
Any Monotonous and non creative work is my least favorite.

22. How many people do you have a crush on right now?
Lost count....

23. Who do you miss most right now?
My mom and my friends.

24. What are you listening to right now?
Idenna Maayam from Oram Po.

25. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Blue

26. What is the weather like right now?
Cold. It is 23F in Manchester, CT.

27. Last person you talked to on the phone?
Forgot. I think the last call I made was to my mom on Sunday. :-)

28. The "first" thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Eyes. Next is Smile.

29. Do you like the person who sent you this?
Illanu sonna adi vaanguven nu ninaikiraen. ;). (Heidi, I was just kidding)

30. How are you today?
As usual Unusual.

31. Favorite non alcoholic drink?
Fruit Juice. I like Mango or Chikoo Milk Shake.

32. Favorite alcoholic drink?
Does Coffee qualify as one? ;)

33. Natural hair color?
Black.

34. Eye color?
Black.

35. Wear contacts?
Nope. Because I did laser operation a year and half back.

36. Siblings?
A silent younger Brother.

37. Favorite month?
May

38.Favorite food?
Anything my mom makes.

39. Favorite day of the year?
April 04. I will blog the reason someday for this.

40. Have you ever been too shy to ask someone out?
Yes. In fact I have been very shy to ask anyone out :-(

41. Scary movies or happy endings?
Scary Movies with Happy Endings.

42. Summer or winter?
Summer. I hate being kept captive at one place.

43. Holi or Diwali?
Diwali

44. Do you like your name?
Hmmm...tough one. I don't...but kids do.

45. What book/magazine are you reading?
Archers "To Cut a Long story Short".

46. What's on your mouse pad?
My finger.

47. What did you watch on TV last night?
A movie called Shattered Glass.

48. Favorite Smell?
Any nice aroma of something delicious being cooked.

49. Have you ever regretted breaking up with someone?
Nope. Because the getting together thing itself never happened in first place. Apram daane, Break Up ellam ;)

50. Most tiresome thing you’ve ever experienced/done?
Can I say this tag?
Kidding. I hardly get tired.

Now I come to the best part. As usual, I don't tag anyone :-)

The Time-Table man

"Oh shit."
Those were the first words uttered by Mohan Joshi on Monday at 7.10 AM. May Sharone Stone go to hell. They say that it is inauspicious to begin your day by saying something unholy and Mohan unwillingly had done the same. Now you may wonder that why should one make such a huge hue and cry for waking up at a somewhat-early-morning hours? Because Mohan is the Time Table Man.

Mohan does his activities by the book and by the hour. Its been a month since he has arrived in US, but his near time perfection has even impressed his clients and colleagues. He wakes up at 630, finishes morning activities including shower by 715, has breakfast by 730, dresses up and packs by 750, arrives at the park and ride by 805 and catches the 810 bus. His Tea Break timings are at 1030 and 330 PM with lunch in between at 1245. He catches his evening 530 bus and arrives home at 620, checks mails, finishes dinner with his Land Lord at 830 and after watching some TV he is back in the bed by 1100 PM.

Yesterday on Sunday night Sharon Stone just broke his routine with her sultry beauty in Basic Instinct and by the time Mohan leaped in the bed it was 1210 AM. He finished his shower early and almost ran to the Park and ride to catch the 810 Bus which he missed by a few leaps and minutes. Cursing himself he caught the next bus and then remembered that he had forgotten his mobile at home. It was not the start that Mohan loved for his day. Office was no better as he forgot to send a document to his manager and he called and lectured him instead. Mohan couldn't wait for the day to end.

Half asleep and somber he ran and caught the last bus and saw a lady seated on his usual window seat on the 2nd row in the left hand corner. No good. Unwillingly he sat in a seat he had never sat before and after some time he fell asleep. He was not sure when he woke up, but as soon as he did he got down sensing his stop. Oh hell, why does this place have to get pitch dark at 600 PM? Wait a minute, this is not the stop. Seems that the day was far from over.

Now if he had been in India he should have had no problem as there would be people walking around or a tea shop around and he could get back on track. But this was the US where at 6 PM only ghosts and lunatics who wish to freeze to death roam around on roads apart from the vehicles. This place was devoid of all the three. Goddamn you US. Mohan having being used to the only route from Park and Ride to home, couldn't figure out where he was. Goddamn you Mohan. This is the trouble of carrying out life on a set pattern every other day. One gets used to it and when the routine breaks, all hell breaks loose. Without a mobile to call and ask Directions and in a neighborhood where he knew no one, Mohan Joshi felt as if he was stranded on Sahara desert.

"Uncle Mohan. What are you doing here?" asked a familiar voice. It was Jesse, Mohan's land lord's son. Mohan then realized that he was just crossing the backyard of the house where he lived. He had never set foot on the back yard in that whole month.
"Well...I was just roaming around" lied Mohan.
"Hmmm....Uncle, my friend gave me a book called Who Moved My Cheese? My friend says that it is a nice book about changes in life and adapting to it. Have you read this book?"
"Well..Jesse..Mind if I borrow it from you and read and return it in a week?" asked Mohan.
Mohan realized that he needed that book more badly than this 8 year old kid.

The Cowshed

This is how people refer to the bachelor rooms. Yeah yeah yeah. You got it right. It hurts and possibly it is right at times as well.

The folks who live with me I guess are all neat and tidy when in their respective homes but a look into this room and you could puke to death. Clothes, books, bags...oh...everywhere scattered around the room in such a way that I could call 911 and he would see this room and believe that we have been ransacked. Every week me and my other roommate put everything in place and vacuum clean it and make it appear orderly...and the dream lasts for 2 days. The third day it looks the same again. How frustrating?

One of my roommate when he left India was told by his parents to lighten up the place by his presence. Well, he got the figure of speech wrong and took it quite literally. Any room he enters and leaves has the light turned on. Now with a salary which is only being rivaled by the Janitor at my clients place, we cant afford to pay huge electricity bills. Another one has a fancy for other guys dresses. He sees a nice shirt of mine or other fellas and the next day he is wearing them. It is even more convenient that we works for a different client. Depending on the feedback (which is more number of looks from the female staff) the shirt would be missing from the rack for the longer span of time and the buyer can forget having bought it in first place.

Another one is a worse bathroom singer. He screeches and drags and brays worse than donkeys and 3 stanzas later you pray to be admitted in an asylum. Worse are his claims. When reported that he could do away with singing he bragged that one girl in his college fell head over heels in love with him just for his singing(?) abilities! Now I always knew that Love was blind....turns out that it is deaf as well :-)

But then all of us are not perfect beings. Each of us have a trait or 2 which irritates someone out there. Even I have not cared about my health as much as my roommate did and Thanks is a very small word in exchange for that. Every person must once in his/her life live in a dormitory or a bachelor house. Our parents have no other choice but to give in to our tantrums or know the way we are and so it is always nice and cozy at home. But when you live in with a stranger or a friend....you get to learn a few lessons. You will get to learn the meaning of patience, giving space, letting things go, enjoying companionship, sharing joy and grief....and much more.

Trust me, however rich you maybe, but life sucks without companionship or when there is no one around to talk. As for the way the room looks....well.....Boys will be boys :-)

Vanilla Sky

Siachen is freezing at minus 30 and it is just 6 PM. I look at the sky which is blue with a tint of pink. I get reminded of the Vanilla Sky painting of Monet she showed me on net.

"Do you have your location?" buzzed the walkie talkie in my hand.
"They are at our 3 O Clock at the pre confirmed location. Send back up now." I had made it fast than I had thought.
If I complete this operation successfully, we will be able to finish another band of infiltrators across the border which we are now going to eliminate based on a tip off.
"Major Ravi. So what are the plans after this?" asked the soldier on my left.
Plans? Man, Don't distract me now. I have a business to finish and home to get back to. Lovely parents, caring brother and...someone special. I got engaged just 2 weeks prior to the call and 2 more weeks are left for my marriage. The very thought of returning to home soon makes me feel on sky.

"sir, they are firing now sir." echoes one of my 2 mates. We have to retaliate and keep them there. I figure there are 4 men in that post and they are either terrorists or army men posed as such. We circle them and shoot them as fiercely as possible. Hang on buddy, backup is on its way. As I shoot the last guy I look at his face. Who was he? Few minutes before, he was a soldier. He was a son, possibly a brother, a husband, a father, a tax paying citizen who had a home which used to be filled with laughter and joy in his presence. It would never be the same again. Moments from now an inevitable call will be made to his house which will destroy it beyond imagination and beyond any compensation given.

Unfortunately a gun and a bullet know no religion, race, caste, creed on earth. For them the shooter is the master and the target is a piece of flesh which has to be torn to pieces and blood has to be spilled out. The only common reactions for the victim of a bullet are moans of pain and cry of despair and helplessness. An amazing hell of an invention is this thing. What were his last thoughts? Was he thinking of the past happy times or the could-have-been future? Was he cursing me to rot in hell when he breathed his last?

I joined the army as I believe in protecting my country, but I am no believer in war. Wars are just the games played by political big wigs to satisfy their egos at our expense. We are pawns which can be sacrificed before the checkmate. Sometimes there is no checkmate. Take the wars in Iraq, Srilanka, Kashmir, Israel, Chechenya, Afghanistan...anywhere. Do you think that war is the only solution? What will America get after that whole Iraq war? A few million barrels of oil? How long will it last? What will happen to SriLanka and Kashmir? Why do they want some piece of land which has been soaked red with the blood of thousands of innocent people? If only we all understood that irrespective of any accomplishments in our life we would rest six feet under or be burnt to ashes.....we may consider doing many a things in our living days.

Just a few more minutes and the back up will be on its way. The bodies will be handed over and questions will be asked. I look at the Vanilla Sky....but I am no longer in a mood to enjoy its beauty. Walk away soldier. You have a life to live and another day to die.

கல்யாணம்தான் கட்டிக்கிட்டு...

thanglish terinja makkalellam kizha ponga

"பாயசம் ஆச்சா?சீக்கிரம் ப்பா" ரமேஷ் பம்பரமாக சுத்தி கொண்டிருந்தார். கல்யாண வீடுனா சும்மாவா? வாசலில் இருந்த "சுப்ரமணியன் வெட்ஸ் சாவித்திரி" சற்று சாய்வாக இருந்தது அதை சரி செய்தார். இதுல விருந்தாளிகளை வரவேற்காவிட்டால் அது வேற பிரச்னை. ஒரு மனுசன் எத்தனை எடத்துல தான் இருக்கிறது? இந்த கன்றாவிக்கு தான் கிளோணிங் கண்டுபிடிச்சாங்களோ?

கொஞ்சம் கொஞ்சமாக கூட்டம் நிரம்பி வழிந்தது. ஒரு சில பேர் சுப்பினியையும் ஒரு சிலர் சாவித்திரியையும் கலாய்கக சென்றனர். கோஷ்டி கோஷ்டியாக மக்கள் பிரிய ஆரம்பித்தனர். வழக்கம் போல் சண்டை போட்டு பிரிந்த உறவினர்கள் எதிர் எதிரே அமருந்தனர். கொடுத்த கூலிக்கு வாசித்த நாதஸ்வர கச்சேரியை சில பெரிசுகள் மட்டுமே தாளம் போட்டு ரசிததனர். நடுத்தர வயது ஆண்கள் ஷேர் மார்க்கெட் பற்றியும், சதாம் தூக்கிலிட்டது பற்றியும், அடுத்த ப்ராஜெக்ட் பற்றியும் விவாதித்தனர். இலசுகளில் ஒரு கோஷ்டி எங்கே M.S பண்ணலாம், எந்த கம்பெனிக்கு தாவலாம்னு பேசி கொண்டிருந்தனர். இன்னொரு கோஷ்டி வரும் போகும் பெண்களுக்கு மார்க் போட்டு கொண்டும், டெண்டுல்கருக்கு பதில் யாரை டீமில் சேர்க்கலாம் என்றும் விவாதித்து கொண்டிருந்தனர்.

மாமியார்கள் மெகா சீரியல் மருமகள்கள் பற்றியும் மருமகள்கள் மாமியார்கள் பற்றியும் குறை கூறி கொண்டிருந்தனர். இந்த சம்பாஷணை நிஜ மாமியார் மருமகளை பற்றியும் தாவியது. மற்றவர்கள் ஜிமுக்கி, முத்துமாலை மற்றும் மற்ற நகை பற்றியும் பேசி கொண்டிருந்தனர். குழந்தைகள் அங்கும் இங்கும் ஓடி கொண்டு விளையாடி கொண்டிருந்தனர். சில பேர் மட்டும் "சீக்கிரம் வேலைய முடீசீங்கனா நாங்க சாப்பிட்டு கெளம்புவோம் இல்ல" ங்கற மாதிரி இருந்தார்கள்.

"சீக்கிரம் வாங்க. போட்டோ எடுக்கணும்" னு ஒருத்தர் கூவினார்.
எல்லா உறவினரும் எங்கிருந்தோ ஒன்று கூடினர். சுப்பினியும் சாவித்திரியும் அருகருகே அமருந்தனர். ஒரு சுட்டி பெண் ஓடி வந்து சுப்பிணி மடியில் அமர்ந்து கொண்டாள்.
"சுப்பிணி தாத்தா. என்ன உம்முனு இருக்கேள்? நன்னா சிரிங்கோ" என்று சொல்ல கூட்டத்தில் இருந்த அனைவரும் சிரித்தனர்.

பெத்தீயின் அறைகூவல் கேட்டு சங்கோஜமாக நெளிந்து பிறகு சந்தோஷமாக பொக்கை வாய் தெரிய சந்தோஷமாக சிரித்தார் சதாபிஷேக நாயகன் சுப்ரமணியன்.

"paayasam aachchaa?Seekiram ppa" Ramesh bambaramaaga suththi kondirundaar. kalyaana veedu na summava? vaasalil irunda "Subramanian weds Saavitri" satru saayvaaga irundadu adai sari seydaar. idula virundaaligalai varaverkavittal adu vera pirachanai. oru manusan ettanai edattula thaan irukiradu? inda kandraa vikku thaan cloning kandupidichchaangalo?

Konjam konjamaaga kuttam nirambi vazhindadu. oru sila per suppiniyaiyum oru silar saavitriyayum kalaaika sendranar. oshti goshtiyaaga makkal piriya aarambittanar. Vazhakkam pol sandai pottu pirinda uravinargal edir edire amarundanar. Kodutta kooliku vaasitha naadaswara kacheriyai sila perisugal mattume taalam pottu rasitanar. Nadutara vayadu aangal share market patriyum, Sadaam tookkilittadu patriyum, adutta project patriyum vivaadithanar. Ilasugalil oru goshti enge MS pannalaam, enda companykku taavalaam nu pesi kondirundanar. Innoru goshti varum pogum pengalukku maark pottu kondum, Tendulkarukku badil yaarai tee mil serkalaam endrum vivaaditu kondirundanar.

Maamiyaargal megaa seerial marumagalgal patriyum marumagalgal maamiyaargal patriyum kurai kuri konidundanar. Inda sambaashanai nija maamiyaar marumagalai patriyum taaviyadu. matravargal jimukki, muttumaalai matrum matra nagai patriyum pesi kondirundanar. Kuzhandaigal angum ingum odi kondu vilaiyaadi kondirundanar. Sila per mattum "seekiram velaiya mudicheenganaa naanga saapittu kelambuvom illa" ngara maadiri irundaargal.

"seekiram vaanga. photo edukanum" nu oruttar koovinaar.
Ella uravinarum engirundo ondru koodinar. Suppiniyum saavithriyum arugarugae amarundanar. Oru sutti pen odi vandu suppini madiyil amarndu kondaal.
"suppini thaatha. enna ummunu irukel? nannaa seeringo" endru solla kootathil irunda anaivarum siritanar.

Pethtiyin araikooval kettu sangojamaaga nelindu piragu sandoshamaaga pokkai vaai teriya sandoshamaaga sirittar sataabishega naayagan Subramanian.

Silent Night...

"I now declare you man and wife". Mark paused the wedding video of John and Juliet that he had recorded about 2 years before. He was the best man in their marraige and was shooting the whole wedding just for a personal memorablia. But he didnt know that it would come to haunt back him after a long time.

They all worked together in a firm and were good friends. Infact Mark had feelings for Juliet, but an introvert that he was, he stayed silent. Naturally the more jovial John and Juliet fell in love and got married as well. Ironically Mark was the best man in their wedding and he didnt know if to laugh or cry at his fate. An year before their marraige fell apart and it was a shock for everyone in their fraternity.

Today, on the eve of Christmas morning, Juliet had come searching for some video in Mark's private library and stumbled upon this video. As she saw it she realized what Mark fell about her. The whole video had Juliet in close ups as she smiled, yawned, smirked, cried...every possible emotions of hers was covered. She left the room without saying a word and Mark didnt give any explanation for it.

At 7 PM in the evening, Juliet heard a knock outside her house and she found a letter. It read as such

"Dear Juliet

Somethings are very easy to be understood but very complicated to explain. What you saw at my house was something as such. It would have been left unsaid if you had not found it all for yourself.

Today is Christmas night and on Christmas, one should tell the truth. Words cannot measure the love that I have for you in my heart. To me you are perfect. And my wasted heart will love you...forever....and ever.

Yours
Mark"

She smiled and kissed the letter sobbing. About 200 feet away Mark watched this and walked towards his house. All the words that he could say were "Enough...enough for a lifetime..."

P.S: From Love Actually
P.S1: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

I am NOT what I am

"Hey Maathu, What do you want to become after you grow up?" I asked the 3 year old daughter of my cousin who was enjoying singing along with the cartoon character on the TV.
"I wanna become a rock star" she replied. A simple line from that child led me into a serious of question answer sessions with myself. What did I aspire to become and what am I right now?

Believe it or not, at the age of 13 I wanted to become an actor. Yup, you got it right. And that too a HERO (!).Perhaps I wanted to entertain people. I did mimicry in my childhood days which eventually led to an always huge gathering surrounding me in any family function and nothing thrilled me more than the smile on the face of the public. But when you look like a walking and talking version of size of a Godzilla, and are referred by names as "aaloo", "motu" and "haathi" and puberty fast approaching the girls don't even care if you are alive or dead...you have to reconsider your options which I did.

The final nail in the coffin was laid when my class teacher asked me to play the part of Santa Claus in the school christmas skit as she said that I was the chubbiest and sweetest guy in the class. May the Hero rest in peace. You can be happy that I was born in a middle class family and not to a one-ring-in-each-finger wielding Sethji who finances the movies or some B grade sleazy Film director. Who knows, and then I could have become a Hero. Worse enough, unknowingly you could have been my die hard fan who doesn’t miss the first day first show of my movie :-)

At the age of 15 I wanted to become a pilot or a sailor. As Nandoo used to say that in that age every boy wants to become a pilot and every girl a teacher. Thanks to my hereditary, I ended up wearing spectacles which in turn disqualified me from both. So what do I do next? Ask my relatives and cousins. The unanimous verdict is to study engineering and become an s/w engg. What about becoming a cricketer, singer, painter, journalist ect. Nope.Why? Because all my cousins are engineers and have been earning enough money to buy a palatial house, car and settled in abroad as well. So there I am...after 50 odd papers and useless practical exams I was given a BE degree which at times sounds to me as Brain Empty. Contradictorily I got placed in the campus as well.

When my cousin's daughter mailed me asking what she could do next after 12th I was the only one who replied her asking NOT to take engg. This family had supplied enough enggs to the country more than the required quota and had taken enough lives. But I did advise her to do the same by going for Medical. She is doing something less lethal than what I expected by opting to become a Dentist.

Sometimes when I work in my desk I wonder what I am doing here. All right the paycheck is ok, I can buy what I want, I can help other people (which I love doing), I blog which has given me so many friends. But does this work make me happy? I envy someone as Mr Kamalhaasan who enjoys doing his work and also makes a living out of it. How many of us can say that we do that?

Last but not the least, I live in the hope that one day I will be doing what I will enjoy doing the most. I am waiting for the time and opportunity.
"Hum Honge kaamyaab.....ek din...
"Man mein hai vishwaas..pura hai vishwas....Hum honge kaamyaab ek din"

Deja Vu

"Bharathi. Be ready. They could be here any moment." shouted Bharathi's mom Mrs. Durga.

They had done this whole thing a dozen times before and still every time she did this, she felt panicky. She wondered if at least this time it could end happily for all. Her thoughts were cut short by the arrival of the Blue Sedan outside their house. From the car Ramani's parents alighted followed by a beaming Ramani. Durga and her husband Mr. Krishna welcomed them into their 600x600 hallway. Ramani's parents sat on the couch for the couple even as Ramani sat on the single chair facing the 42 inch huge Philips HDTV. Durga could sense that the drama had just begun.

After 10 minutes Bharathi entered the hall with a silver dish with 5 cups of chicory coffee and sweets and savories which nobody would touch. Some things never change with time and perhaps this tradition was one among them. A bored Bharathi sat on the opposite single chair facing Ramani wondering what was going to happen.

"So all looks fine. I believe that the silence of the groom and bride seems to say that all is well and we can take the next step" said Ramani's father Mr RaviPrasad looking at his wife Mrs Raji. Whoever wrote that silence is a sign of acceptance may rot in hell thought Bharathi.

"Yes Sir. Please tell me what you expect from us." said Mr. Krishna as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Well. Apart from taking care of the marriage expenses, you would have to have to gift a car and flat on Ramani's name and they should be handed on the day of marriage. And I assume that you do have 250 sovereign gold in addition for marriage" said Mr. RaviPrasad.

He was talking to them as if they planted and grew money on the trees outside their house. But Mr. Krishna felt that this was better than the previous party which asked for 10 crores and 500 sovereign Gold. At that time he felt like killing them and dumping them on moon. But then there was little someone could do in these circumstances.

"Ok Sir. We are fine with it. We will get the date of the marriage and engagement fixed from our astrologer and call you soon." said Mr. Krishna looking at Mr. Ravi.

Durga could not believe herself. When she got married, she was allowed to enter the house only after her father got them a brand new car. It was a humiliating experience for Durga to see her father's lifetime savings go into thin air in a day's marriage.

She was sad and happy at the same time. Sad because all their savings would be spent on their son Bharathi's marriage and dowry to marry that girl Ramani. Happy because as a woman she felt that although the redemption was only financial and not emotional....at least there was one now.

P.S: Read this and wondered what if and why not.

New

"If a man opens a car door for his wife, its either a new car or a new wife."

What is it that fasinates us so much to something that is new to our life? The general pattern of behaviour of humans that responds to new things is almost the same. Try to remind yourself about the last the time you behaved when you bought something new for yourself.

We become very self conscious and cautious when we wear a new dress and take the best care as to not to spoil it. I remember my faculty explaining us NOT to wear anything new for any interview for the same reason. I remember how brat I was when the whole colony had to work together to send me off peacefully to my school in my LKG. But in UKG I was jumping with joy and couldnt wait to reach there. Reason? New School dress and shoes. I would polish my shoe daily and walk slow and steady than the beauty at the paegeant. It was over after 15 days. By the end of 5 months the shoe looked in the front to qualify as another ozone hole.

When I got my new IPOD, I was very very careful. I had a cover on it everytime. I used to lock it in a locker when going for lunch or meeting. The rest of the time it stuck to my ears as if i was some reincarnation of karna. Now? Although I listen to it regularly, it looks like Ipod was invented centuries ago and mine looks line one from the stone ages. I have also seen the effect of new things in relationships. One of my friend found someone "special" and that was the end of rest of us. We ceased to exist. I agree that it is something that varies on a case to case basis but arguably this is a general pattern.

I got my new laptop after months of self debate and research. Its a new HPDV6000t and I had been tracking it since the day I booked to the day it got delivered to my home. This time I did not have it wrapped in a cover after I used it and just kept it in one corner of a room. Come on...how long can a person lie to himself :-)
Do you have had any such special memories about anything new?

Btw..I also started a new tamil blog. Just check it here.

The Diary pages

Dear Diary

Today was a very important day in my life. What I did was perhaps unacceptable by other people's standards, but either way it doesn’t matter to me anymore. If being oneself is a crime in the court of life, then I stand to be convicted and would love to face the rope of destiny.

What was my fault? That I fell in love...maybe. But the fact that I fell in love with someone who turned out to be a philanderer was my destiny. I was a matured woman who had finished her degree at IIT Chennai and who worked as a top consultant in a leading firm. I fell in love with my co worker Arvind and it all looked like a dream come true. Perhaps....someone just woke me up to make me realize that it was all a nightmare. Arvind was a Romeo on fly and my love life crash landed immaturely.

My only solace was my friend Krishna who made me laugh among all the sorrows I was surrounded with. If not for Krishna maybe I could have done something stupid. You may wonder that how come someone educated in IIT speak as if without clarity, but remember that the heart and emotions remain common to one and all. Krishna and I used to go to the Besant Nagar beach where we would talk for hours about everything and sometime about nothing.

Every time my mom would begin the topic of marriage I would skip with something irrelevant and divert it. But eventually it failed one day and some people gave a surprise visit to have a look at me. The groom was some computer junkie settled in US and had Green card and everything in place that any normal girl would fall for. Perhaps it’s silly to note that I was still in love with Arvind and didn’t want to get married until I got over with it.

I had rejected way too many proposals by then and one day mom confronted me. She knew the reason for my denial and gave me one last choice. She wanted me to ask Krishna to marry me. That was the last thing I wanted. Krishna was my best friend and inspite of whatever people thought or said, we were friends without anything else on our mind.

Why is it that a woman needs to get married? When a man can remain a bramachaari for life and be appreciated for it, why can’t a woman do the same? Why these double standards? The reason always given is to protect her from the society and to have a support in her old age. I don’t give a damn about society and why waste your life now thinking about something that is going to happen 30 or 40 years later. Is it wrong if I have a belief that loving someone and sharing your bed and life with another is inappropriate?

I have decided to break all the barriers and do what I want. Today is not just a very important day in my life...but for many others as well.

Love
Shreya

As Shreya closed the dairy she smiled. 10 years had passed since she had written this and from time to time she would visit this page to remind her of her purpose in life.

"Madam. A journalist from India Today has come to take an interview about you and the children of our home" reported the assistant. Shreya, the head of the Helping Hands Home for Destitute children put her ghosts of past to rest and was on her way to a glorious future.

Ever After

The Kashi Vishwanath Temple in Varanasi was crowded way beyond than usual numbers. Seems the number of god worshippers had increased....or was it the sinners? The pujari was having a feast time with collections sky rocketing like the sensex index. He may just be able to get his daughter the new cycle she had asked for New Year.

But all these did not bother Abhi and Aishu. They walked past the crowd hand in hand which looked at them mesmerized and awestruck. In India a man and woman have to get the license of marriage to hold hands and roam around or else tongues will wag and rumors will fly around. By the time you cross one kilometer here, the rumor would have traveled to your uncle in Kashmir and Aunt in Kanyakumari.

Love is an ecstasy which drugs people way beyond these silly stupidities. Abhi's friends openly objected his affair with her. He let out the usual dialogue of "We are just friends" and for sometime they were also convinced. But its hard to hide the enthusiasm and anxiety to the outside world when in love.

Finally he did propose to Aishu when they went first day first show to "Dhoom 2". The whole world appeared blurred to him when she said yes. Oh sorry....that was the due to the byproduct released from his eyes. It was a tradition in their family to begin a relationship in the Kashi Vishwanath temple and today they were here offering puja to the lord for their well being and prosperity. Abhi was curious to know the reason for the huge crowd today. And then he found it. It was due to the presence of their famous name counterparts Abhishek bachchan and Aishwarya Rai.

It was amusing. Abhishek Varma, the owner of the tea shop outside the Sankat Mochan Hanuman temple and Aishwarya Shukla, the Garland girl near the Kashi Vishwanath temple didn't know if their famous name counterparts were going to tie the magical knot or not...but they had just done that. They left to their new home to live happily ever after.

The Return

He was not nervous. Anxious? Perhaps. He checked the presence of the Walther P99 gun with him and the fact that it was loaded, gave him some strength and comfort. As usual he was alone. Infact he had no partners and had never wanted one. While the rest of the world lived a life where each day was almost the copied and pasted version of their previous day, he lived one where there was no today, leave alone tomorrow.

He tiptoed into the building with the alacrity of a cat and went to the unclassified place as he had planned. The door was locked from inside. Well that was the least of the problems for this highly skilled man. He opened it and went inside as if he would enter the town hall. There were 5 men in the room and they did seem surprised by his entry.

He shot the first and second straight in the head. The third tried to run and got shot in his back. The fourth pounced on him as the fifth tried to run. The gun spilled from his hand and the fourth one hit him hard on his face. Blood oozed out of his mouth and he fell hard on the floor and got hurt on his head. The fourth one relaxed for a second. Mistake.

He bounced back and hit him hard on his face. It was such a powerful shot that even her majesty would have stood up and applauded. He took back his gun and shot the fourth and fifth. Perhaps he had been born as a cold blooded bastard and he was proud for that. He took the unclassified file on the desk as planned and called his superiors to let them do the cover up. Nobody would know about him and as usual he would go on a hiding.

He walked to the headquarters to return the file. They took him to the meds and the nurse came in with the first aid. She seemed new as he had known every staff on the building by their first name. As she nursed his bruises she asked him "May I know your name?"

He smiled. It was a smile that had made women swoon at his feet. Then he uttered the most famous words spoken by any spy on earth "The name is Bond....James Bond".

She gasped with disbelief and immediately smiled flirtatiously. She was not the first and she won't be the last.

V for Vetti

A shopping mall is the best place to look around for characters if you are a writer. You get to see anything and everything. One gets to see patterns in the people of the same ethnicity and it really surprises at times. It’s easy to spot Asians because they always tend to travel in groups. Particularly Desis are famous for that. If you happen to see someone taking a snap of another in a long shot, when no one else in the mall thought of doing that...its gotta be a desi.

During Halloween time it was even funnier. There was a woman walking in the mall with wings like a witch and a saber tooth like a Dracula. There was one thing that I observed in US when I landed here on first day. There are only 2 categories of people in terms of size. Either they look like straight-out-of-gym types or like honey-I-blew-them size. In short they are either very fit or very fat. There are people walking around calling themselves as School students, but by their size and build even I looked like a Kindergarten kid in front of them.

There was a Caucasian family where the parents walked in front leaving their children behind as if they had got the children for free from some fair. Behind them was their 4 year old kid who was pushing the perambulator of her 2 year old sibling who seemed to consider that having a feeding bottle nipple in mouth and locked to the machine was a better option than being an s/w engg. The kids are very cute, but beware before you set your eyes on them. If they happen to see you around looking innocently at their kids as such, the next thing you could know might be being frisked away by cops being implicated of acting (?) like Michael Jackson.

The best characters however are the "Yo Guys", "Brother" or our African-American brothers. I have no idea on earth how they grow their hair in all sizes and shapes. Irrespective of men, women and childern, they grow it vertically, horizontally, diagonally, plait them, and have beads around like Henry Olonga and god know what. They wear their caps on their head at an angle greater than 15 degree and less than 365 degree which in straight words can be explained that they NEVER wear their caps straight.

Even the men wear so much of jewellery and diamonds that an average Indian father could get all his 5 daughters married and settled if he were to rob just one of the "brother". They have a distance walking style limping around like as if "their mom just forgot to give them their quota of polio drops" (as quoted by my friend Jithu). Their dresses are so big and loose enough that an average Indian can raise his family, 2 kids and his dog if he were to make a tent out of it.

Just as I was thinking these, a woman just looked at me and turned her head in disgust. Wondering why I went to have a look at myself in the mirror around and found out the reason. I had stubble for 4 days and it looked like I had mourned the death of my dog and had buried it in a cemetery nearby. My eyes had swollen due to lack of sleep and so I looked drunk. That’s when I remembered the immortal last lines uttered in the movie Some like it hot

"Well, nobody's perfect" :-)

True or False

She was barely out of her teens and looked very fresh. Aslam, the film reporter of a local newspaper was looking at the new Mumbai heroine Savitha. It was the shooting of the movie "Paapa potta Thaapa" (The girl who locked the latch). While purists argued that the title sounded pornographic, the producer and director didn’t seem to mind much. They were happy that this title made them use double entendre intentionally in the movie with hell lot of glamour and oomph targeted at their youth audience. What more, they would also get tax exemption from the state government for naming their film in Tamil :-)

This was the Mumbai Girl Savitha's first Tamil movie. Her mother was seated nearby and as per heroine's mother’s norms she was having all her share of apple juice and throwing tantrums at the hapless Assistant directors. The make up girl was applying more rose powder needlessly to her already rose colored cheeks. She was reading Sidney Sheldon’s' Best Laid Plans. Aslam didn’t know if really heroines did read Sheldon or pretended to do so as he had seen most of them do that.

Aslam: So where are you from?
Savitha: I am from Mumbai. The director approached me after he saw me in an ad.
Aslam: How do you find TamilNadu?
Savitha: Oh it’s a nice place. Ennakku tamil konjaam konjaam teriyum. Is this rite?
Aslam: Wow you are good.

Liar. She was running a bulldozer over Tamil with intensity greater than the Tamil TV comparers and a touch lesser than Udit Narayan. May the noble souls of Valluvar and Bharathi rest in peace.

The physics of Indian male is funny. They fantasize heroines as their lovers or wives. That’s why the Indian heroines have not been successful playing title roles after marital bliss. Heroines were dumb and stupid or had to act as such. Those who didn’t follow the convention found themselves playing sister, mother or grandma (in worst cases) to heroes who were old enough to act as their great grandpa. The more lucky ones became mega serial heroines who cried at a drop of a hat. The rest chose to become some Durga, Lakshmi or Parvati or whatever goddess with all jewels locked in RBI and seated over a fake tiger. After the shot got over, Savitha and her super mom went inside the caravan van to take some rest. Aslam's interview was over and he just had to spice it up a little for his gossip loving public.

Inside the caravan, the following conversation happens in chaste Marathi

Savitha: I hate to do this. Why can’t I tell that I am a tamilian settled long before in Mumbai and have to lie about this?
Mom: Are you stupid? Except Trisha and Sneha how many Tamil heroines do you know in the movie industry? Nobody knows this truth about us. Look, your market rate is just based on the fact that you are from Mumbai.
Savitha: (sobbing) But I hate this mom. Did you see how that son of a bitch reporter was ogling at me? I feel uncomfortable doing this mom.
Mom: Savitha, dont become emotional. Just do a few more films. Wait till we find some rich business man or a producer's son. Do you think I want to make you go through all this?

Savitha didn’t say anything. She looked outside the caravan window. The sun was going deep down behind the mountain and nobody around seemed to be in a mood to appreciate it. She was having a sense of Deja vu.

Kannum Kannum Nokia

The germ for this post was sown by the 1st standard studying cousin of my roommate. When my roomie asked him what he wanted from US, he replied without any hesitation - CELL PHONE. I was wondering why a 6 year old kid needs a cell phone. When I was in college, there was only one guy in our hostel who had his own cell phone and we looked upon him as if he was Lakshmi Mittal and we were iron scrap merchants.

Back after college, my parents insisted that I get a cell phone before I leave for job. But an adamant idiot that I am, I had always wanted my cell phone to be bought out of my own money and so I waited for my first month salary and bought a Samsung C100. In my training period, one of my fellow batch mate asked for my number and when I told him that I had no cell phone, he looked at me as if I had just told him that Bush was gay.

"No Cell phone? What’s your problem dude?"

"Anything wrong with it? What are you, some Mr. I-was-born-with-a-cell phone-in-my-hand? "

Indeed it seemed to be. Back in 1997, I remember cell phone was a status symbol when the incoming and outgoing were charged at exorbitant prices and you were looked upon as if you had booked Rajini for a movie. But enter Mr Ambani and his "Mera sapna Sabka Apna" and every body on the street was out with a cell phone. The ad of “Viru ki Maa” became the butt of all jokes, but who cares. You see a reliance cell phone with someone and look upon them as if they said that Vijayakanth was the most handsome man in the world.

Some of the stupid instances are the Customer Care calls. Once my friend received a call as such
She: "Sir, I am calling from XXXXX. Would be interested in taking a personal loan?"
He: "No Madam. I am leaving for a meeting now. And I don’t want a loan"
She: "Sir we offer premium rates and there is no limit as well"
He: “Does it come with a steal-the-bank option?"
She: "Sir...."
He: "Because I am already buried neck deep with hell lot of loans and if you force me to take this, I don’t think I have any other option of paying you back"

By the time he replaced his phone, she must have mumbled "What a jerk" and must have wished him luck to not even find a burial place in Kannamapettai in his last days. Every day there is a new model with a new feature. By the time you buy some model wondering what more can be done, there is another one in the market with something extra. It has an FM, MP3 player, TV, Mailbox, Chat, Bluetooth, GPS...I wonder if the only things that are left to be added to it are Washing Machine and refrigerator. Some common traits of cell phone using people are numbers marked as HOME, OFFICE, INDIA, and RELIANCE and so on.

The consummate users of cell phone are the love-and-flirt pairs. They begin their day with a good morning for their beloved and go to bed with their good night. They won’t let their cell phone go from their hands for their lives. A typical conversation is as such between the kadalai ppl

He: "Hey, so what’s the Tiffin?"(Thanks to CUG (Closed User Group) I dont need to pay for this)
She: "Its idli" (Jerk, he doesn’t know any other opening line)
He: "Was it chutney or podi?" (Why doesn’t she eat anything other than idli)
She: "It was chutney" (Oh moron, ask something else)
He: "Why, you don’t like sambhar?" (What should I ask next? This is going nowhere)
She: "Oh C’mon Bharath. You know I don’t like Sambhar for idli" (He cant even remember this about me?)
He: "Meena, this is Arvind" (Who the hell is Bharath?)
She: "This is Asha"

Thattam Gatam. End of conversation (perhaps relationship). Agreed, it is one awesome tool for communication. It’s a hell of a safety tool for working women and college going girls to communicate to their parents. You think of someone special sometime, just open it and boom....there you go. Life was never so easy. But we have also heard about blank calls, obscene sms and so on. One stupid case I heard recently was where a woman complained receiving obscene SMS and when traced, it was from an unlisted number....owned by her husband.

Let’s admit it, haven’t we all lost our privacy? As every technological innovation, this too has a dark side when all it was invented was for one major purpose - Connecting people.